In which our heroes strap on Cerebro and try to decipher why Xavier still can’t walk. We look at the benefits of being a cripple, the lengths Xavier goes to distract everyone from his bald shame and bring into question the many, many times something awful has happened to his legs. It’s a quick walk through the Marvel Universe as we offer solution after solution that Xavier will have none of. Zammit wants to know why Elixir doesn’t offer a hand, Jackson rifles through the storeroom at the x-mansion to find Xavier’s exoskeleton and Duscher recites some of Scott Summer’s beautiful poetry. Guess it’s time to admit that Charles is a jerk and to go join the Brotherhood. Magneto was right.

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