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Sanspants Radio

An award winning podcast hosted by three of the worst brains Australia has to offer. Two guys named Joel and their friend answer pop culture’s most important questions in the wrongest way possible. Not a Star Wars podcast. Subscribe to the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts for even more content to ruin your day.
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Plumbing the Death Star

No form of pop culture is safe from Plumbing the Death Star, and that includes ancient greek mythology. JohnnyImperfectAlien from the Sanspants Radio discord, asks the boys to give their strategies for dunking their baby boy Achilles in the river styx. To no one's surprise their baby almost instantly gets swept away and Jackson starts eating snakes and then they start remembering the movie coneheads. If you love the boys misremembering ancient myths and getting into arguments about brains and skulls then this is the ep for you.

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How Would You Dunk Achilles Into the River to Make Him Better (and No You Just Can't Throw Him In)?

Oh no! Space aliens have taken a keen interest in plumbing the death star and decided to abduct them. What will befall our intrepid trio? Well, Zammit almost instantly dies from exposure, Jackson gets stranded in the past, and Duscher goes to court for a crime he didnt do (but easily could have). There's way less probe talk in this episode than you'd think. Not 0, obviously, there was going to be some, but still you'll be surprised by how briefly it comes up.

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Which Alien Would Be the Worst to Be Abducted By?

Merry Christmas from Plumbing the Death Star! To bring in the hollyest and jollyest of seasons the boys decide to exploit the magic old hat that brought frosty the snowman to life. Unsurprisingly it instantly turns into a ghoulish necromantic mess. It's a yuletide nightmare as bodies are brought back from the dead, billionairs are scammed, and men become double men, whatever that means. So heat up some cocoa, eat some gingerbread, and wonder to yourself: why am I listening to these men instead of spending the holiday season with my beloved family what is wrong with me what have they done to me?

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How Would You Use Frosty’s Hat for Personal Gain or Financial Profit?

Plumbing the Death Star has a long history of misremembering how Uncle Ben died. Who shot him? Why? Uncle Guts? Well in this episode JoshAus let's the boys revisit that incredible event to ask, hey, how would we have died as Uncle Ben? There's very little great power, and even less great responsibility but there are plenty of references to the movie Old Boy, driving over your own head, and getting munched by an elevator. Another classic.

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How Would You Die as Uncle Ben?

Can you believe it's that time of year again? The much anticipated Pooling the Poolstar! Or Pooling the Deathstar? Whatever, who cares, it's hot and we're in a pool. After cooking our brains by seeing Kraven four times in one day for our sister show Baseless Speculation we figured we'd further cook our brains by sitting directly in the sun and having a think about Kraven, categorically the worst thing to do when you're about to suffer from heatstroke. Anyways Kraven's little brother can make himself look and sound like anyone he wants but he cannot change his height and Chameleon's a little guy! We cannot stress how bad of a film this is. At the end of the film sweet Dmitri (that's the Chameleon) has taken over his daddy's mob business (daddy got got by a bear, a bear that Kraven presumably had a conversation with? It is unclear) which got us thinking: how? Sure he started with the power of being his crime dad's son, but what if he was starting from zero (and the powers of mimicking anyone but as a short king)? We also talk about soup a lot. Jackson has a terrible idea for a restaurant.

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How Would You Use Chameleon's Powers (as Seen in Kraven the Hunter) To Take Over the Mob?

Plumbing the Death Star has been in the pool for too long and the sun is starting to get to them. You can tell. Duscher's head is burning. Maybe because of this they're turning their attention to fairy tales and trying to eat the three little pigs. Duscher wants to ramraid the pigs brick house, Zammit is unclear if destroying a tent is a crime, and Jackson invents the Hambulance, with truly terrible concequences. "Being in the sun for so long has made the Plumbing Boys even funnier," say the people. And they are right.

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How Would You Huff and Puff and Kill Those Three Little Pigs?

Oh shade! That's what the boys needed! Now somewhat out of the sun the Plumbing Boys can bring Pooling the Poolstar to a close by trying to pitch the Truman Show to investors. Zammit isn't sure that a company should own a baby, Jackson wants desperately to live in the moon and Duscher shills for Big Crack. So chuck on the boob tube and flick over to your favorite show of all time "Screwin' with Truman" to see how they torture that boy this week! I hope you enjoyed Pooling the Poolstar, it was good to be in the pool. 

Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

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How Would You Pitch the Truman Show to Investors?

It's one of the oldest riddles (or puzzles (apparently it's a puzzle, there's a lot of disbelief and arguments at this)) ever told! You are on one side of the river with a goose, a fox and a bag of beans and you have to get to the other side by a boat carrying one at a time. However, if you leave the fox with the goose that fox will straight up devour that goose and if you leave the goose with the beans that goose will straight up devour those beans. The fox and beans are chill tho. Now there is a solution (or two, that's why it's a puzzle and not a riddle and everyone is mad) but we here at Plumbing the Death Star think a) the solution is not in the spirit of the puzzle, b) it's not efficient and c) reckon we can do better. We go through a lot of broken goose necks to arrive at our answer, discuss at length the problems with of a pig heated house and try to work out an amicable solution with Erik the goose buyer. This riddle wasn't even hard, this was smart and we are in fact geniuses.

Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

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How Would You Get the Fox Across the River When You Also Have a Goose and a Bag of Beans?

Dorothy and the gang have annihilated that witch and now they've come to the Plumbing Boys for their sweet reward! With not a single brain between them how will they figure out how to give some kind of strawman a brain, a big lion who they think his name is Courage courage, the metal golum a heart and Doroty and her dog a way to go home. Duscher opts for a terrible surgery, Jackson wants to spend more time discussing the ettiqute of when is it socially acceptable to eat the dead and Zammit tries to fix two problems with Tinman Wants a Wife. No one's happy and they keep getting the Scarecrow and the Tinman confused. The wonderful Wizard of Oz.

Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

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What Gifts Would You Provide to the People that Come to Visit You if You're the Wizard of Oz OR How Would You Reward Dorothy and Her Friends in the Wizard of Oz?

You've landed in London, you're weary from your long flight, you need a taxi. Which Mario Kart character are you choosing to drive? Be careful, your choice could have disastrous meatball related repercussions.

Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

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Which Mario Kart Racer Would Make The Best Taxi Driver?

You’ve been sucked into a board game jumanji styles. But which game? That’s up to you, dear reader. Do you want to access parts of your daily routine by answering correct trivia questions? Would you prefer to inform cats of the status of your (un)barbed penis? The choice is yours.

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Support Jarren's Outpost on Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/dndnerds/jarrens-outpost

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What Would Be The Worst Board Game To Get Sucked Into? with Adam

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