How Would You Use the Powers of a Baby to Rob a Bank?

This is pop culture. We swear. Springsteen wrote a song (and a book) so it counts! Outlaw Pete is about a bank-robbing baby whose exploits become a meditation on sin, fate, and free will. Springsteen himself said it’s essentially the story of a man trying to outlive and outlast his sins! Now the sin is robbing a bank and the man is a baby but it still counts! But we here at Plumbing the Death Star ain’t gonna spend any time on that, we’re here today to discuss how you’d rob a bank using the powers of a baby. And not just any baby, a baby that is at most 3 months old. Zero object permanence, no knee caps and a weak fontanelle are just a few of the things in our arsenal to rob a hank. You might be thinking that such a task is impossible and we’re here to tell you that yes, not being able to speak, hold your own neck up or even have man-thoughts are definitely hurdles. But never underestimate the nature of man, or in this case baby, and our willingness to overcome any obstacle put in our way.

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