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Sanspants Radio

An award winning podcast hosted by three of the worst brains Australia has to offer. Two guys named Joel and their friend answer pop culture’s most important questions in the wrongest way possible. Not a Star Wars podcast. Subscribe to the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts for even more content to ruin your day.

Plumbing the Death Star

Plumbing the Death Star is coming! Coming back to the UK that is! And this time, Zammit's coming! And we want you to come to one of our many, many live shows! So if you want to come, head to our website sanspantsradio.com/events to grab your tickets today! Our website might be on the fritz, be patient. We are sorry for edging you.

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Plumbing the Death Star Cannot Die UK Tour 2026

Another week another beautiful topic suggested by a beautiful Bad Brain Boys subscriber. This time it's the beautiful Kevin_ whomst wants us to answer the very enigmatic question of which ray is the best ray? Now, did he mean ray as in an x-ray or freeze-ray like something out of a silver age comic that either came from or could have possibly hit a Superman? Or was he thinking of guys named Raymond, had a ponder about which one was good and wanted his three idiot internet friends weigh in? Either way we bought in self-proclaimed ray expert, Matt Stewart to help us answer such a baffling question. We're off to a great start when JD cannot comprehend Kevin_ because he's so full of pizza, Jacksom showcases his best trick by correctly predicts the future, Zammit thinks the most important thing is to show a united front and Matt just wants to ray-tire. It's getting yelled at the podcast as no one listens to each other or pays attention aka a regular episode.

Go see Do Go On live in Canada!

Go watch Matt's special!

Go see ATB and Matt on Tour!

Go buy tickets to Plumbing the Death Star live in the UK!

And follow Plumbing the Death Star on Instagram for Live Show Updates!

Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

Today's episode sponsored by Omaha Steaks! Go to OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code BEEF at checkout for $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

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Which Ray Would Make the Best Ray? with Matt Stewart

They've cursed a small village, a small town, and maybe even blessed a village, I cant remember. Now they're asking: what if you owned a curaed sword and using it ruined your entire life? That is what the plumbing boys dare to explore on this weeks episode. Duscher makes a sword so floppy it breaks reality, Zammit spends an eternity in Line Realm, and Jackson loses all friction and gets sent to space. Feel free to use any of these curses to wreck your next D&D game. If you dare.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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How Would You Curse a Small Sword?

Two out of three of the boys went and saw Toy Story 5 and came out with too many questions. Jackson wants to know what a toy takes pleasure in and if being used for their intended purpose is great for them, Zammit posits that children are like heroin to a toy and then kidnaps toys for a nefarious experiment and JD (rightly) accuses Jackson of being a horrible, disgusting pervert. So gather your toys, enter a realm of imagination and let them experience the pleasure they crave while you experience the joy of a fantasy you crave. It doesn't have to be sexual. We would prefer it if it wasn't. We cannot say the same for Jackson whomst would do unspeakable things to his alive toiler.

Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Is Being a Toy in Toy Story a Living Hell?

There's a lot happening in the studio as we attempt to answer the beautiful question put forward by a beautiful listener, Gavbeans. While contemplating the worst animal to get werewolf'ed into the boys get distracted by night swimming, the concept of eating pizza on a boat, if a wasp can make night moves and how come Jackson hasn't had his mouth fingered by a stranger in his sleep. Zammit goes aquatic and gets confused and possibly angered by salt and fresh water animals, JD goes tiny and comes across his biggest hurdle: windows. And Jackson just wants to find somewhere warm and get stuck in the walls. Be weary of flat sheep, avoid getting the chair twice and don't worry about our dog in the pipes. They're just hungry.

﻿Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Which Would Be The Worst Animal To Be Werewolf'ed Into?

Zammit is sick, enjoy this episode of What If, a monthly bonus show on Bad Brain Boys+, while he heals his ailing body. It's one of the good ones where they answer the question succinctly we reckon, probably?

Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben Had Lived?

The boys are once again joined by their idiot friend Darcy Smith to collectively lower the IQ of the podcast. We don't know what happened on the couch but it's powerful in it's stupidity. A lot of brilliant ideas are thrown out, Zammit wants to make a Chernobyl but good using only Charizards and a "device", Jackson believes the key to success is with Mr Mimes, JD tries to organise a convoluted credit card scam involving famous singers and Darcy just wants to know who owns the moon. Either way, give us 5 stars, kill Darcy in the comments, sign up for a Ditto Only Fans and remember to constantly check your phone for any and all Dogpile updates but go buy it now on steam.

Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How Would You Make One Million Dollars Using Pokemon? with Darcy Smith

The last time the boys got stuck in a groundhog day situation, things devolved pretty rapidly. Especially when ball peen hammers got involved. This time around we get to pick! JD keeps himself entertained by going on little missions, Zammit is proud of himself for remembering the summer months (this is a big deal for him, don't take it away) and Jackson goes from the cradle to the grave and back again. And again. And again. We don't know much, but we do know how much we hate the mailman and that the neighbourhood dogs are looking especially delicious. Money's in the sink and we'll see you in the next go around fellas, it's been swell!

Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What is the Perfect Length of Time for a Time Loop to Occur?

It's a question as old as time, if you had access to a magic pudding that has the powers of 1. is a little man 2. can be eaten infinitely and 3. if you spin the pot a bunch of times he can become any pudding, how could you exploit that for personal gain or financial profit. Zammit lets the exploit part of that sentence do A LOT of heavy lifting, JD becomes Jesus 2 and Jackson is devastated to learn the news that Meat Load died. So listen in, be afraid of Zammit's machine and discover a new way to take pills.

Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How Would You Exploit the Magic Pudding for Personal Gain or Financial Profit?

The Joels get confused about why they're here but at least they're excited to be on what they perceive to be a film set. Knowing that taking out the first billionaire is integral to their survival doesn't help when they know nothing about basic survival or how to use any weapon of any kind. Jackson can't stop using pinecones and eating spiders, Zammit is uncomfortably too comfortable in taking out the butler and JD just has the best time with the help. It's a dinner for schmucks as two schmucks are hunted for sport and it's clearly a test for the third. Surely we all can't be schmucks. Surely.

Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How Would You Survive Getting Hunted For Sport?

We're starting the new year strong by stepping into Gregor Samsa's vermin like shoes and asking if we'd survive the metamorphosis experience when we wake up as bug. Collectively one third of this handsome trio has read exactly one half (later revealed to be one third) of Franz Kafka's book but that doesn't stop us as we all have whatever the opposite of an existential crisis is. An existential catharsis? Either way JD immediately goes bug world, Jackson just wants to catch the night bus to the beach and Zammit either dies or survives a trash compactor. It's a very big point of contention of the episode. 

Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Could You Survive the Kafka's Metamorphosis Experience?

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