A Bit of Magic with Carlos Greaves

Carlos Greaves returns to the podcast for a closer look at the surprisingly authoritarian role of parenting, beginning with his 18-month-old daughter’s new favorite activity: climbing things that are clearly designed for five-year-olds and launching herself toward a seven-foot drop. With essentially no childcare experience before becoming a dad—he had never even changed a diaper until the nurse handed him his daughter in the hospital—Greaves describes figuring out parenting through research, YouTube, books, and an engineer’s instinct to identify what he doesn’t know, while remaining skeptical of advice that seems to reverse itself every five years. He and Ophira Eisenberg wrestle with the line between letting kids make mistakes and protecting them from hurting themselves or other people, with Greaves admitting that he currently operates at “dad reflex distance,” close enough to catch his daughter but far enough away that she learns to solve problems herself. That tension leads naturally into the mythology of childhood: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the little stories parents tell to make life easier. Greaves remembers his father initially refusing to participate in Santa because he considered it lying, then eventually sitting his eight- or nine-year-old son down to explain the truth—only to be hit with the immediate existential question, “If Santa Claus isn’t real, does that mean God isn’t real?” Greaves now sees those childhood myths differently, remembering the pleasure of watching younger siblings discover Christmas magic and deciding that if you are going to lie to your kids, it should be for their benefit rather than simply to make your own life easier. The conversation also takes aim at the impossible standards of modern parenting, from organic cotton and wooden toys to BPA-free bottles and the endless question of what, exactly, has replaced the thing labeled “BPA free,” before Greaves offers his own survival tactic for parenting’s tiny dictators: eat your snacks in secret before they become smart enough to notice. When Ophira asks what he would tell a child who eventually wants to become either a comedian or a politician, Greaves’s answer is revealingly consistent with his satirical worldview: he can live with either, as long as they do not become an asshole—and preferably, she becomes an electrical engineer.

📍August Shows are in Las Vegas NV, Los Angeles CA, NYC

Follow Carlos Greaves: https://www.instagram.com/shadesofgreaves

Check out his new book Obey In Advance: How To Survive (And Thrive) Under Authoritarianism: https://store.mcsweeneys.net/products/obey-in-advance-how-to-survive-and-thrive-under-authoritarianism

See Ophira LIVE: https://www.ophiraeisenberg.com/events/

Check out my NEW Comedy Special “I Used to Be Nicer” as an ALBUM is available now https://open.spotify.com/album/1rHqPoBYc78gzMnCrCFoZy

SUBSCRIBE so you never miss O thing: https://www.ophiraeisenberg.com/sign-up

Follow PIAJ:

https://www.instagram.com/parentingisajoke/

https://parentingisajoke.substack.com/

Follow Ophira:

https://www.instagram.com/ophirae/

https://www.facebook.com/OphiraEisenberg/

https://www.tiktok.com/@ophiranyc

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices