149. Is It Harder to Make Friends as an Adult? (Replay)

How do friendships change as we get older? Should you join a bowling league? And also: how does a cook become a chef?

RESOURCES:

• “ Social Support From Weak Ties: Insight From the Literature on Minimal Social Interactions • ,” by Joshua Moreton, Caitlin S. Kelly, and Gillian Sandstrom ( Social and Personality Psychology Compass • , 2023). Join or Die, • documentary (2023). • “ I Tried Bumble BFF for 30 Days — Here’s What Happened • ,” by Beth Gillette ( The Everygirl, • 2022). Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends, • by Marisa Franco (2022). • “ Grocery Store Opens ‘Chat Registers’ for Lonely Customers • ,” by Gabriel Geiger ( Vice, • 2021). • “ The State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss • ,” by Daniel A. Cox (Survey Center on American Life, 2021). • “ Number of Close Friends Had by Adults in the United States in 1990 and 2021 • ,” by Michele Majidi (Survey Center on American Life, 2021). • “ You’re Not Uncool. Making Friends as an Adult Is Just Hard • ,” by Peter O’Dowd and Kalyani Saxena ( WBUR, • 2021). • " My Restaurant Was My Life for 20 Years. Does the World Need It Anymore? • " by Gabrielle Hamilton ( The New York Times Magazine, • 2020). • “ Why You Miss Those Casual Friends So Much • ,” by Gillian Sandstrom and Ashley Whillans ( Harvard Business Review, • 2020). • “ The Bros Who Met Their BFFs on Bumble • ,” by Rebecca Nelson ( GQ, • 2016). • “ Sex Differences in Social Focus Across the Life Cycle in Humans • ,” by Kunal Bhattacharya, Asim Ghosh, Daniel Monsivais, Robin I. M. Dunbar, and Kimmo Kaski ( Royal Society Open Science, • 2016). Blood, Bones & Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef, • by Gabrielle Hamilton (2011). • “ Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review • ,” by Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B. Smith, and J. Bradley Layton ( PLoS Medicine, • 2010). Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, • by Robert Putnam (2000). The Great Good Place: Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons, and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community, • by Ray Oldenburg (1999). Character Lab • .

EXTRAS:

• “ How Much Are the Right Friends Worth? • ” by People I (Mostly) Admire • (2022). • “ Is It Weird for Adults to Have Imaginary Friends? • ” by No Stupid Questions • (2022). • “ How Much Do Your Friends Affect Your Future? • ” by No Stupid Questions • (2020). • “ Is There Really a ‘Loneliness Epidemic’? • ” by Freakonomics Radio • (2020). Tell Me Something I Don’t Know • (2017).

SOURCES:

Daniel Boulud • , chef and restaurateur. Pete Davis • , co-founder of the Democracy Policy Network. Wylie Dufresne • , chef and restaurateur. Marisa Franco • , assistant clinical professor at The University of Maryland. Beth Gillette • , beauty editor at Cosmopolitan.Gabrielle Hamilton • , chef, restauranteur, and writer. Daniel Humm • , chef and restaurateur. Ray Oldenburg • , professor emeritus of sociology at the University of West Florida. Robert Putnam • , author and professor of public policy at Harvard University. René Redzepi • , chef and restaurateur. Gillian Sandstrom • , senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Sussex. Dieter Uchtdorf • , Apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and former Senior Vice President Flight Operations at Lufthansa Airlines. Lyle Ungar • , professor of computer and information science at the University of Pennsylvania.