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Voxtopica

No Crying In Baseball

Pottymouth’s inner 12 year old may giggle at episode 420 but her grown up teacher self lays out MLB’s drug policy and how it’s changed over time and between leagues, from “smoke your way to the 40 man” to “don’t show up high.” Player’s weekend brought us foods on bats, some philanthropy, and nostalgia for the good old days of nicknames on jerseys. We both have fantasy team pitching woes, but there’s also Junior making a name among the 21 year olds, and Zach turning that triple play. Marco’s little league bat flip gets pinned and monetized. The first women’s professional baseball tryouts are happening in your nation’s capital this weekend. If you can navigate through all the unnecessary National Guard currently invading DC, please try to join Patti at Nats Park on Monday to watch the final games to determine who is eligible for the draft. And say what you will about the Phanatic, but he did give us the vodka solution for beating the heat.

We say, “Star Warsy-looking people,” “ICE is picking up people trying to make a living mowing lawns,” and “Buy a bottle of wine for your favorite teacher.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Just Keep Your Swivel

We celebrate the “gravity” and the “magnitude” of the moment as Jen Pawol makes history as the first woman to umpire a regular season MLB game. We also put it into the disappointing context that not only is MLB 28 years behind the NBA, but, as Chelsea James notes, we almost had robo-umps before a woman had the gig. Our continuing excellent taste in baseball boyfriends is reinforced as the Heart and Hustle winners are announced, with an 80% NCiB BF showing. The PCA report turns into a vocabulary lesson with Outs Above Average and 5-Star catches. Shea turns batting lead-off into a show and we discover a Correa/Caratini/childhood link. The NYY Old-Timers are looking a little weekend-warrior-ish but we appreciate the effort. Our crosstraining/police blotter/rant is over the dangerous and demeaning throwing of sex toys onto the court at WNBA games. Pottymouth checks in with some old friends in the LMB. And please bookmark this link to the PWHL/Tim Horton Barbie because Patti needs one for Christmas and this fantastic little fundraiser is currently sold out.

We say “Hall-ish of Fame or Hall of Fame-ish?” “eye of the beardholder,” and “what’s weirder? Me saying dildo or me saying meme coin?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Gravity Always Wins

What a weekend for baseball. Patti witnesses small children in the stands absolutely take down a full grown booing adult for his poor sportsmanship, and then fireworks. Pottymouth gets a winning double header, dubious mascots, an imaginary friend, and then fireworks. Oh and also there was that trade deadline. The Os lose 100% of their Ramons and Cedrics, but their 21% of the Jacksons in the league turn a relay to throw out the runner at home. There’s a whole Taylor/Tyler trade and beer fridge situation, and some pitchers commute to their new team by walking from one bullpen to another. There was a Clemens on the mound, and a Kyle taking down Yankees with big swings. 

Teams can’t decide if they are marketing to Women, Ladies, or Girls but we think they all mean the same group of people. CLE cleans out some pitcher cubbies while the league conducts another possible career-ending gambling investigation. We decide the return of the Presidential Fitness Test is firmly in Police Blotter category. We have takes, and flashbacks. Bryce, Max, and others question the commissioner’s squirrely end run around union leadership and aren’t afraid to call it out. It seems Cuban girls playing softball are not a security threat but clearly their adult supervision cannot be trusted. The WBC brings the return of Dusty Baker, and a surprisingly stacked coaching staff for Venezuela. Patti recommends The Last Manager, mostly. And oh, hey, one CAN find the results of the Baseball for All Nationals in one handy place!

We say, “His name is Mort and he is a casket,” “booing with his whole diaphragm,” and “extravaganza lollapalooza situations.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Kids vs. Boo

In a surprising twist, this week’s police blotter is Little League-centric, from the policy to the personal. The entire Venezuelan Senior Little League team, made up of 13-16 year olds, was denied visas to participate in the Senior Little League World Series held in South Carolina this week. Yes, the United States broke the hearts of an entire team who not only proved themselves the best in Venezuela, then traveled to Bogotá in order to obtain visas, to then be told they are too much of a security threat to enter the US. And here at home, a player competing for the NJ Little League title was ejected from a game and then suspended for a bat flip. Which is not against the rules. “Horseplay” was added later to the “unsportsmanlike conduct” charge because even though it is in the eye of the beholder, horseplay appears in the safety rules.

In boyfriend news, Pottymouth’s catcher continues to be all Wong, even if her infielders are adorable (cue the drinking game). Cristopher Sanchez tosses a complete game to stay in Patti’s good graces. Cal menaces more records, and Cedric’s incredible game may be a swan song. Old guy Justin Turner jokes with old guy Rich Hill, while Tito and Kevin trade manager-level pranks. Nick Kurtz makes his young presence known, even if that triple is elusive. Women in Baseball Week is bracketed by the end of Baseball for All Nationals, and the lead up to the All-American Women's Baseball Classic.

We say, “Italian-sized pilsner – it’s shaped like a boot,” “That’s a little Amish joke,” and “I get to woo, you get to woo, we both get woo.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Horseplay

No kidding, the Swing Off as the ASG tiebreaker is in the collective bargaining agreement. CBAs also show up when we crosstrain with the WNBA – players are getting crap for backing off social justice activism in favor of “business.” And by business they mean negotiating their CBA. Here to tell you, fair pay is a social justice issue. We’ve got ASG takes – mic’d up players, unis, bling vs meaning in fashion coverage, and a crayon bat to make a statement. PCA started a new club, Kyle won’t back down, and Brayan came back up. Pottymouth mourns her Diamondbacks in the rough. Thank you, owners of the Guardians and the Commanders for your “no thank you” response to the fascist in chief’s directive to go back to their former, racist, team names. Travel bans and ICE activity cause the MLBPA to instruct international players to keep their immigration docs on them at all time, and have us revisiting FIFA logistics. Good luck to all the participants in the 10th Annual Baseball For All Nationals!

We say, “You educate so hard,” “Wrexham Massholes,” and “Guadalajara won’t do.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

That’s a Labor Thing, Man

Again, we have publicly committed to predictions an hour before the (all NCiB Boyfriend) Home Run Derby begins, that you won’t hear until you already know who won. How’d we do? We also check in on our pre-season predictions on standings and individual awards and learn that while some are just as terrible as history has taught us to expect, we are surprisingly right on in some places. Those places are not the American League. We’ve got some pretty good running “for a catcher,” more benchmarks for PCA, Kyle treating OPACY like home, and some pretty irate Phillies. Congrats to Tito Francona for winning #2000! We wonder what’s in the HS drinking fountain water in Oklahoma that produced the #1 and #4 picks in this year’s draft. More commitments in the WBC, and some travel ban cross-training with FIFA.

We say, “It’s just not aerodynamic when your shirt is unbuttoned so far,” “His golf caddies have named him Pelé,” and “How do you solve a problem like Pottymouth?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Strong Opinions and Very Loud Voices

At this point we can’t tell the difference between crosstraining and the Police Blotter. We have travel bans, trans bans, international volleyball, collegiate swimming, and harmful decisions. We also have a WNBA player insulting Patti’s hometown, but Patti takes the high road and offers help with geography and, well, words. As we approach the All Star break we have Cal and Woody both doing Barry Bonds things. We’ve got Pete being veteran-level thoughtful and also playing impossible defense. Kody proves Pottymouth makes some good decisions, but she checks the math to be sure. The Nats fire their manager and their GM while your hosts are on the metro returning from Nats Park. No lie, that felt weird. The Dodgers are getting it from all sides Nezza points out some double standards re free speech at the stadium, and the team gets hit with a We Don’t Like You Promoting the Civil Rights of people who are not straight white males Complaint. It was actually listed as a “Civil Rights Complaint” but we feel they left out some important words. The Serie del Caribe lets the kids play, the WBC lets the boyfriends play, and the WPBL invites all the best women baseball players to DC next month to prove they can, and should, play.

We say, “I’m going younger and funner,” “Not quite at the singing level of beer consumption,” and “Giant colonization murder board.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Always Within Yelling Distance of the Batter

Since last week we've been to Pride night, and Pottymouth has checked out the Smokies new ballpark, and crosstrained with Bananaball. Patti opted out on Bananaball because there are two kinds of people in the world. Although Cosmic Baseball could be a thing… The All Star Game is loaded with former boyfriends and just a few new ones, and the Derby could be all our guys. Congrats to Justin Verlander on what must be a very beautiful new baby, and thanks for the timing which let Brett Wisely back up to the bigs. More fans behaving badly, this time to Ketel Marte, and good work to the hometown fans for much-needed support. Police Blotter and more crosstraining as we report on horrible men in two sports. Franco gets away with abhorrent deeds and Tucker denies it all. More World Baseball Classic participants are announced and we are eyeing a trip to Puerto Rico. And thank you, Trea Turner, for not ticking off the baseball gods.

We say, “I went and did the Banana thing,” “A light beer but way more of it so the math should work,” and “Whiskey with the Canadians in the basement.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Irresponsible is in the Eye of the Beholder

When it is a thousand degrees outside, Elly gets sick on the field and then homers, and we just stay in the air conditioning and curse climate change. Geaux Tigers! Congrats to LSU on their College World Series win, fair and square, unlike the suspicious victory in the Jello Shot Challenge for charity (we’re looking at you, Paul and Livy). The Dodgers just have so much going on trying to overcome the bad press about staying mum as the city burns. They are donating a million dollars, but for what exactly? Did they prevent ICE from entering the ballpark grounds? Nezza disregards the directive and sings the anthem in Spanish. And still no other players speak out. Terry Francona continues to charm, and Harry Caray’s grandson reminds us to keep the L in “flag.” Manny inspires Andy to greatness and a new nickname. Woody keeps topping out at 451’ homers. Cal Raleigh is quietly shattering records. A horrific foul ball to the dugout incident brings a ballpark together, and we wish Hunter Bigge a full recovery. Please let it cool off before Pride Night in Baltimore.

We say, “When Big Papi calls, you answer,” “no projectiles, no fists,” and “when it's done with jello shots, is it really fraud?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

When the Dugout’s Jumping

Feels like a Father’s Day episode what with weaponry gone awry, novelty shirts made from petroleum products, and Caddyshack references. PCA hits them high and low, and Woody hits them where they don’t usually go. Cutch passes Clemente, Manny sneaks up on 2000, and we’ve got more bfs on the IL than the bench. The Contreras brothers (Contrarians?) do something rare. Kiké speaks out even though the LAD do not, and we note how women’s leagues do not hesitate to take a stand. And we crosstrain by buying Immigrant City FC shirts. MLB players speak out about how sports betting has changed fan interactions for the worse. Those nice BOS newlyweds give the Pope a CWS cap and now you know what the regulation Pope headgear is called and why there’s a sunroof in the Popemobile. 

We say, “levity instead of enlightenment, maybe both,” “scratch in inappropriate places,” and “It’s going to be a great time at the hotel bar.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Cannons, Bowling Shirts, and a Gopher

The Rangers think a superspreader event is a great way to welcome Opening Day, while the rest of the ballparks plan to welcome a small number of fans back to the stands. The Commissioner uses the minors as his own private laboratory to try out a huge number of new rules in advance of CBA negotiations.

Shortstop, conqueror of the Durham Bull, and Pookie’s pal Willy Adames is Pottymouth’s Rays boyfriend for this season. Gavin Lux, the Dodger’s 2B with the heart in the shape of a baseball fills out her middle infield. Third baseman, conqueror of Aroldis Frickin’ Chapman, and non-draftee Mike Brosseau is Patti’s guy on the Rays. Catcher Will Smith, the Fresh Prince of LAD, caps off her boyfriend picks for the season.

Opening Day festivities in the CPBL included six mascots, from rainbows to the scales of justice to one who is just, um, pink. Here’s how to watch the games. Please take a spin through the best of MLB’s school picture day. Steak comes up more than you’d think.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, get your vaccine as soon as you can, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

At Least There’s No Tailgating

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