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The New York Times

For more than 20 years, the Modern Love column has given New York Times readers a glimpse into the complicated love lives of real people. Since its start, the column has evolved into a TV show, three books and a podcast.

Each week, host Anna Martin brings you stories and conversations about love in all its glorious permutations, dumb pitfalls and life-changing moments. New episodes every Wednesday. 

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Modern Love

Laverne Cox never fit in as a child in Mobile, Ala. But she really didn’t want to. From an early age, she knew she was going to be a star, and she was right. Decades later, Cox would break through as Sophia Burset on Netflix’s “Orange Is the New Black,” and become the first openly transgender person to be nominated for an Emmy Award in an acting category. 

In this episode of “Modern Love,” Cox talks about her new memoir, “Transcendent.” She tells the story of how she became the star she always knew she was, the men she loved along the way and how she learned to fully love herself. 

How to submit a Modern Love Essay
How to submit a Tiny Love Story

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

 
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Laverne Cox Is Ready to Tell the Truth. Even if It’s Messy.

Joseph Osmundson spent years joking about having a baby with his best friend. But one day, she told Joe she was serious about it. Joe was elated. Growing up, he had always wanted to be a father, but he didn’t realize how deep that yearning was until the moment their joke became a concrete plan.

At the time, Joe had a boyfriend he loved and his best friend was partnered with a woman. It took time, effort, and countless meetings to decide how to conceive and co-parent in a way that would accommodate everyone involved. What the group did not anticipate was how complex their feelings would become once their plan was underway, or that Joe would have to define what parenting meant to him all over again.

Joseph Osmundson’s book, “Spawning Season: An Experiment in Queer Parenting” is out now.

 

How to submit a Modern Love Essay
How to submit a Tiny Love Story

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

 
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I Tried to Have a Kid With My Best Friend. It Got Complicated.

Mark Duplass and Katie Aselton’s lives are completely intertwined. They’ve been married for almost 20 years while collaborating on films, raising children and spending as much time together as possible. The two see the same therapist, are nearly constantly touching each other and find it hard to function when one of them is away, a dynamic they describe as codependent.

Their codependency is the inspiration for their new film “Magic Hour,” which they co-wrote and which Aselton directs and stars in. For the couple, codependency has added real depth and beauty to their relationship to the point they think the entire concept needs a rebranding.

In this episode of “Modern Love,” Duplass and Aselton make their case for codependency, explain what it has enabled in their lives and share what they’ve had to sacrifice to maintain it.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

 
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Is Codependency Good?

Lauren Bans was seven months pregnant when she realized she needed a divorce. Suddenly, she found herself heartbroken, terrified, and completely unable to make decisions or think about the future.

One day, her sister suggested they visit an escape room. As the door locked and the countdown began, Bans found herself enraptured by the puzzles, forgetting her reality for a moment and feeling like herself again. She was hooked and went back to escape rooms over and over.

This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, Bans tells Anna Martin about her unique cure for heartbreak, and how making decisions in a fictional puzzle room helped her feel capable of making them in real life again, too.

Read Lauren’s story in The New York Times Magazine.

We want to know: How has A.I. changed your relationships? Send us a voice memo.

How to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times

How to submit a Tiny Love Story

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

 
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I Tried Everything to Escape My Heartbreak. Only This Worked.

When people stop Ramy Youssef on the street, it's usually not because they're mega-fans of his comedy. Instead, they mostly just want to pet his dog. It's not until they walk away, he says, that they recognize him from his semiautobiographical sitcom, "Ramy," or his latest special, "Ramy Youssef: In Love." In fact, Youssef’s dog, Basha, is a big part of the special and has become a major part of his life, even if he does sometimes steal the spotlight.

On this episode of “Modern Love,” Youssef tells Anna Martin, our host, what he has learned about unconditional love from Basha. He reads a Modern Love essay from the archive, in which the writer describes working at an animal rescue and how watching humans in the midst of the adoption process redeemed them a little in her eyes.

Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times.

Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

 
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Love Lessons From Ramy Youssef’s Dog

Isabel Allende began writing daily letters to her mother when she was a teenager. Over the next several decades, they exchanged over 24,000 of them. Allende credits their letter writing with removing the need for small talk and creating a deep bond between them. Knowing that she had to write to her mother every day pushed her to pay attention to her life in a way that, she says, was central to her becoming a writer. 

Letters have been a throughline in her books as well. Allende’s best-selling novel, “The House of the Spirits,” began as a letter to her dying grandfather. “The House of the Spirits” has just been adapted into a new TV series, and the connection between mothers and daughters is central to this multigenerational saga.

In this episode of “Modern Love,” Allende tells the host Anna Martin about the transformative power of letter writing on her relationships and career. 

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

 
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Isabel Allende and Her Mother Told Each Other (Almost) Everything

Tracy Clark-Flory was 16 when she learned something that would change her world forever: She had a half sister she’d never met. Tracy's mother, Deborah, had gotten pregnant as a freshman in college. She’d given birth to a baby girl in secret and placed the baby for adoption.

Tracy could tell that talking about this baby made her mom uncomfortable, so she didn’t pry. But from that moment on, Tracy was full of questions. Where was this sister? What was her life like? Would she want to hear from Tracy if there was a way to get in touch?

These days, Clark-Flory is a writer, and she is a mother herself. She has a new memoir coming out called “My Mother’s Daughter: Finding Myself in My Family’s Fractured Past.” In this episode of the “Modern Love” podcast, Clark-Flory tells Anna Martin how she finally got answers about her sister. She also shares what she found out about her mom: Turns out, there was so much more to her story, too.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

 
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My Mom Had a Secret Daughter. I Finally Found Her.

Ruhama Wolle loves weddings, but after being a bridesmaid three times in a little more than a year, she reached a breaking point. The financial and emotional burden was too much, and in an article for Glamour magazine, she publicly resigned from ever being a bridesmaid again. 

Now, Wolle has written “I Hope You Elope: A Bridesmaid Survival Guide,” with practical tips on how to navigate the ask with authenticity, honesty and boundaries.

In this episode of “Modern Love,” Wolle tells host Anna Martin about the bridesmaid dynamics that made her call it quits. Plus, she gives advice and scripts for those looking to approach the role in a new way.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

 
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No, I Won't Be Your Bridesmaid

On her first day of college, Elizabeth Banks met a cute guy at a party. This was long before her roles in “Pitch Perfect” and “30 Rock.” A lot has changed, but 33 years later Banks is still with that same cute guy. In this episode of “Modern Love,” she tells our host, Anna Martin, about the intense conversations and difficult decisions that have kept her relationship alive. And, she reads “Making Space in Marriage, Even as the Walls Close In,” a Modern Love essay about a couple who crack open a stale marriage by leaping into Burning Man.

Listen to and Follow ‘Modern Love’

Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube |iHeartRadio

Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

We Want to Hear From You

Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

 
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Elizabeth Banks Married Her College Sweetheart. They’re Still in Love.

It was Stefanie and Jonathan’s worst nightmare: Jonathan’s depression had become so severe he was begging to be taken to the hospital. Stefanie took him to the hospital and then took care of everything else for the family. When she married Jonathan years earlier, Stefanie knew about his mental health struggles. But she wasn’t prepared for this moment. Then, Stefanie fell apart too — and it was Jonathan’s turn to take care of her.

In this episode, Anna talks to Stefanie about what it’s like to love someone through the worst of it, and what Stefanie learned about her own needs after years of ignoring them.

You can read Stefanie’s original story in the Modern Love column.

Listen to and Follow ‘Modern Love’

Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube |iHeartRadio

Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

We Want to Hear From You

Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

 
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Laverne Cox Is Ready to Tell the Truth. Even if It’s Messy.

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