Why Rituals Matter More Than You Know, And How to Design Your Own | Bruce Feiler

There is a particular kind of loneliness that hits in the middle of a full life.

Not because you are isolated. Because the relationships that used to hold you steady are all being renegotiated at once. Your kids have left. A parent has died. A marriage needs new terms. A friendship has frayed. And the cultural rituals that once helped people move through moments like this are mostly gone.

Bruce Feiler has spent the last three years traveling to 26 countries, attending over 100 ceremonies, and interviewing hundreds of people to understand what happens when we stop gathering in intentional ways. He's a seven-time New York Times bestselling author and the creator of the LifeQuakes framework. His new book, A Time to Gather, makes the case that we are living through both a celebration recession and a ritual renaissance at the same time.

In this conversation, Bruce and Jonathan explore what it actually means to feel homesick in your own home, why the four traditional life rituals no longer match the lives most of us are actually living, and what it looks like to design a ritual from scratch when the ones you inherited don't fit.

What you'll explore in this conversation:

• Why 5,000 Civil War soldiers were officially diagnosed as dying of homesickness, and what that history reveals about the longing you feel now • The five building blocks of any ritual, from drawing the circle to creating a web of hope, and how to use them to mark a moment that matters • Why Bruce calls this a celebration recession: what we stopped doing, when, and what's quietly replacing it • The live ritual Bruce helps Jonathan design in real time, walking through every step from welcome to close • Why rituals are not just for grief and weddings, and the new ceremonies people are creating for divorce, mastectomies, miscarriages, sobriety, and career endings

If you have ever felt the ground shift under you and not known how to steady yourself with the people you love most, this is the conversation for it.

You can find Bruce at: Website | Instagram | Episode Transcript

Next week, we're sharing our conversation with Stanford professor Tina Seelig to talk about something most of us have completely backwards: how luck actually works, and why most of what we call luck is the result of deliberate actions hiding in plain sight. If you have ever wondered why some people seem to catch every break while others keep missing them, this is going to change the way you see that. Be sure to follow Good Life Project wherever you get your podcasts so you don’t miss any upcoming episodes!

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