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BBC Radio 5 Live

Join the UK's youngest and most relevant broadcasters Elis James and John Robins for your twice-weekly dose of big laughs and top quality #content.

Hilarious, welcoming and unashamedly ashamed, let these two best friends keep you company every Tuesday and Friday.

Listen to the Elis James and John Robins podcast every Tuesday and Friday on BBC Sounds.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk
#elisandjohn

Elis James and John Robins

Due to factors it’s another ride on the remote record train as the Bucks-Hulme-Palace trifecta is enacted once again. But fear not, for geographical limitation does not lead to content limitation, and the show’s exemplary badinage level is kept high.

The trifecta briefly becomes a quadfecta through the addition of comedian and protocol penner, Pierre Novellie. Yes, the man who made it his business to codify the essence of Cymru Connecting stops by to adjudicate a live connection attempt. But not before taking questions on the Boer War and explaining what the Dutch have to do with all of this.

Then it’s onto an old classic Made Up Game that reveals slightly too much information about its players…

Do you have contributions that will help us maintain industry leading levels of badinage? Send them into elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp them to 07974 293 022.

#513 - John Laughter, Alan Giggles and Pierre Novellie

Today we discover there’s a lot going on with John. “News to me” you might say with an eye roll planted at the front of your visage. However, we’re in the more physical realm for once, as his clown feet and crisps ankles hone into view.

Elsewhere, Dave is having technical problems because of the need for interrogation-level lighting being installed. And Elis is broadly fine.

In some excellent correspondence, there’s solutions to the below knee level fridge issue that’s been rocking rural Bucks, the boys are in Forbes. Larry Leasehead and Simon Secondhand also give their respective views in what is some of this show’s most practical advice in a generation.

It’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293022 on WhatsApp if you want to add to the mound of excellent listener generated content.

#512 - Stasi Mealtime, Clown Stance and There’s A Lot Going On With You

How well do Elis and Producer Dave really know their wives? After being asked about Hannah’s hopes and dreams a few weeks ago, Dave finally returns with the answers, and Elis can’t resist trying his hand at nailing down Isy’s favourite things.

Elsewhere, Elis finds himself in Cymru Connecting heaven and discovers a new brand of humour, while John unearths his latest non-monetisable talent in a game which he initially goes in two footed on.

For the usual top-notch correspondence it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on email and 07974 293022 on WhatsApp.

#511 - Chorister Humour, The Veg Guesser and What a Husband!

Today is all about bravery. Lord Nelson levels. 

John’s back is playing up. Why? “Oil rig level” dangerous activities in cleaning his below knee height fridge. So he’s wheeled in on a big telly for a London-Buckinghamshire simulcast. 

John has also been listening to The Witches in bed. Which is also brave because it’s scary. Elis has also been in the wars at 5-a-side with an injury apparently akin to tearing your nethers. Yet more bravery. 

In happenings which are irrelevant to courage we also fly in an expert to help John make his holiday booking process less insane. 

Does your fridge not have a crisper drawer? Email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp in on 07974 293022 if you have information pertaining to such a topic.

#510 - It’s Not A Drawer, Creosote i Bumry and The Spirit of Shelford

“Caernarfon Heritage Steam Train, why must you forsake me?” Now that’s a taste of what to expect on this episode. The next step in Elis’s English language stand up return has hit the buffers as he plays a room which isn’t Europe’s best gig. Just how can he produce laughs from wealth managers when Llanfairfechan Community Centre is some of the best stuff in his arsenal? 

Fear not however, because the bit about a big table in a miners’ institute is always ready to go in emergencies. 

But it’s not all anxiety dreams, as we take a journey into the forest mind via John’s new mantra for life. There’s also one of our greatest jingles ever and a game which Elis hates, thus meaning great aural enjoyment for yourselves.

Want to get in touch? Your go-to’s are elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on email and 07974 293022 on WhatsApp, which is like text messages but also works on internet only SIM packages.

#509 - Cognitive Incline, Watching Swans In Watford and The World’s Rarest Goose

John has had a nice time. So join us on a journey as Britain’s most normal man goes on holiday to Scotland. Now, we’ve been here before, and we can promise that this time it involves far less emotionally intense visits to various Celtic car parks. 

Elis’s return to English language stand up also continues apace. It’s going so well that he’s going to play a room where the average age is about 22 and specialises in clowning. How does he play this? 

We also receive more info on the great Dame Caroline Harriet Haslett. 

Can you recommend any other types of salmon? If you can, then email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp in on 07974 293022

#508 - Megabed, Five Salmon and Evidence of Beavers

It’s a definition bumper pack show today as we cram as much goodness as we possibly can into a single podcast episode. Think of us as one of those fruit shots; it’s pure podcasting distilled into a single hit.

The main ingredient is friend of the show Josh Widdicombe, who pops by to talk all things pop culture. He’s adding a new wing to his podcast empire and Elis and John have suggestions. Josh also provides a boots-on-the-ground review of Elis’s recent return to standup, and lifts the lid on his lofty ambitions.

Widdicombe aside, John returns to a simpler time, a more fruit-game-based time. But he ain’t slicing, no, no. This time, he’s merging.

And the fun doesn't stop there as Elis attempts to arrest the Cymru Connection slide by asking a caller if they've ever bought baguettes in Cardiff. It’s vintage stuff.

Send in your thoughts and feelings to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp 07974 293 022.

#507 - A Rice Mouse, Digital Fruit and Josh Widdicombe

Who’s that unrecognisable figure sat across from John!? He looks full of beans, he looks young and vibrant. Why, it’s Circuit Elis! And he’s so back.

After playing the country’s most bafflingly playable gig, Elis’s mood and confidence are at an all time high. He’s perfected his opening gambit, he’s got the country’s best bullet-pointed set. That is until John bursts his bubble…

John on the other hand talks us through his miracle morning that comes complete with its own (and very on brand) acronym. He also describes how he’s recently boarded the porridge train, before sending a listener to the sin bin for challenging the autonomy of the UK plug.

You know what they say; if you come for Dame Caroline Harriet Haslett DBE’s Type G UK plug, you best not miss.

Send in your plug eulogies to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp them to 07974 293 022 (preferable using a plugged in appliance).

#506 - Well Well Well Well Well

Today’s show is one of peaks and troughs as everyone experiences their ups and downs. John puts forward a very questionable defence against a hypothetical crime, and Elis rails at scoring badly on an intelligence test.

On the flip side, the state of John’s brain receives numerous plaudits, and Elis tells an Oscar-worthy joke. It’s classic light and shade.

Elsewhere, Dave takes the team down memory lane by invoking Project Spice, as the boys taste a variety of hot chilli sauces that are guaranteed to blow their heads off. Elis attempts to kick-start the Cymru Connection, we learn about JohnTech (‘mainly tech stuff’), and Elis gets blindsided by a historical meeting with a bloke on holiday who kept saying that Sheffield was massive.

Emails and WhatsApps to elisandjohn@bb.co.uk and 07974 293022 respectively please.

#505 - Head House, The Malzeard Option and Deep Blue John

2026 is a big year for Johnny JR as he sets his sights on winning the London Marathon. And with Dave lacing up his cheating shoes to pound the P of London’s streets as well, the team have quezzies.

Luckily today’s episode features a man who is more than capable of answering said quezzies: friend of the show and running guru Ben Parkes. It’s his job to help John hack the London Marathon. Godspeed Ben.

But fear not, it’s not all running chat. Elis has been on the TV, John is (like Meatloaf) out of hell, and there’s a cornucopia of call centre celeb stories to read.

Keep your ears peeled for some fine Mad Daddery featuring ancient ONS maps, and the team imagine how John would fare on I’m A Celebrity.

Reader of this description, send us an email! The address is elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and the WhatsApp is 07974 293 022.

#505 - Head House, The Malzeard Option and Deep Blue John

Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst

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