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BBC Radio 5 Live

Join the UK's youngest and most relevant broadcasters Elis James and John Robins for your twice-weekly dose of big laughs and top quality #content.

Hilarious, welcoming and unashamedly ashamed, let these two best friends keep you company every Tuesday and Friday.

Listen to the Elis James and John Robins podcast every Tuesday and Friday on BBC Sounds.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk
#elisandjohn

Elis James and John Robins

There’s huge news in the rural Bucks area as the Trifecta of Value begins to take shape - pending planning application rulings. It’s one of many wins for John, but the spectre of the biggest loss in many a year hangs over him. But he is unwilling to reveal it in his losses column. Someone should have cottoned on to this sly behaviour by now.

Away from the Ls and the Ws we go all Gallic in chatting to the wonderful Celya AB, and John introduces her by making it self-aggrandising. Exactly what Norton and Parkinson would do. Plus Elis gets rinsed by a listener yet again and we dig into the various chain restaurants of Woking.

Have you got opinions on Surrey’s fast-casual outlets? Well elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp are the places to send them.

#463 - The Trifecta of Value, Celya AB and A Bin Bag of Marmite

John’s been chained to a typewriter diarising his life experiences, and he's so confident about his memoir that he’s written “this is a good book” in Bic on its cover. Something all the great authors do, and he clearly has confidence in his witty emotionally hefty prose.

But anyway, in this chapter of the Elis James and John Robins show we’re whisked to the sunny shores of the Iberian peninsula, because Dave has a Made Up Game that required an entire week of deliberation and a classroom’s worth of children.

Plus, turn another page and you'll find a one off feature which may or may not feature a dulcetly crooned jingle.

Remember you can catch bonus E&J only on BBC Sounds on The Bureau de Change of the Mind. So go and inhale those if you haven’t done so already. (We’re past DI Robbyns nonsense now, so it’s just more of the boys).

Get all your passing thoughts in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

#462 - Burger, Sell Me Your Suitcase and Topless Dave In Front of An Olive

We start in the anecdote Wild West. Specifically it was wild [north] west London for Elis as he’s been to Oasis in credibility damaging seats. The best seats in the house, surrounded by some of the most famous people in the country. He *could* have asked for General Admission. But he didn’t and that suggestion is shoved up the tunnel of anguish.

City backline Akanji, Dias and Gvardiol were all with him and all saw him in tears. Incidentally Gvardiol was papped on commando retreat this summer smeared in war paint. Something you wouldn’t catch Elis doing as he nibbles on his prawn sandwiches.

But there are others swinging into the anecdote town, including the most handsome cowboy around, Luke McQueen. We also receive reflections on Elis’s inability to remember Pythagoras' theorem and open up his big ideas box which contains the phrase “health podcast”. *AND* there's a potential ill-thought out feature in the offing. It's hit after hit.

elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp if you also want to reflect on your many corporate box experiences.

#461 - Elis, Man City’s Back Four and Will The Drummer From Coldplay

It’s a lament time of year. It’s an Edinburgh time of year. A time when John yearns for the crippling comedic examination which is the Edinburgh Festival. For he cannot experience that emotional rollercoaster this year. He can’t sit on a stage and call himself a C*** after someone shouts “have you had a ploughman’s” during the most emotionally hefty part of his show.

Thankfully Elis’s wedding DJ, Nish Kumar, is on hand to bring despatches from the Caledonian comic frontline.

And as always that isn’t all. Because as a magazine show commands, there must be a selection of other lighthearted segments and features. In such bits expect John to, yet again, admonish Elis’s potential car selection and a return of an old featurey friend to set tongues alight.

It’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp for all of your passing thoughts. And do go check out the blooming Bureau de Change of the mind eps on the BBC Sounds feed if you haven’t already!

#460 - John’s 50 Kids, Nish Kumar and The Cobbles Sing Their Plaintive Lament

Elis has secured a last minute Oasis ticket, but the big question is… what *does* he wear??? Will Liam stop during Champagne Supernova and pick him out specifically?

Meanwhile, John has had two prawn vindaloos and there’s been ‘interest’ down below. This is all amidst the great wildflower debate which continues apace, and Elis is on the end of a lot of stick. What if we created a tantalising buffet of ecological confusion?

There’s also further blow out from Elis’s Made Up Games failings and ensuing existential crisis. And speaking of blowing an extraordinary Mad Dad explodes into the inbox for the boys get their teeth into.

And for all your stuff it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on electronic mail, or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

#459 - Josie Long , Verge Christ and Mammary Glands In The Runner Beans

It’s a big show for Elis’s confidence. After failing to clinch the first quint-connection last week, he was already on the ropes. But throw in a Made Up Game question harking back to school maths, and another tense outing of the Cymru Connection, and he may (does) turn into a man on the edge.

And for said Made Up Game we have a very special guest in the studio. It’s someone who brings Elis and John vibes to the area most weeks, and they’re here to present their very own game.

Plus there’s a lot of talk about imbalance within the BBC and the classic question: what if 100,000 cars watched Oasis?

It’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp for all your very best stuff.

#458 - Simon Davies’ Uncle, #CigsNotPigs and The Protective Wall of Human Community

Elis and John vibes in the areoh! Producer Dave has been to see Oasis and talks the boys through the various ‘ingredients’ that made it a night to remember. He also recounts a living nightmare he’s just experienced including missing equipment, an excitable crowd in Oxford, and a cat that can’t stop weeing.

Elsewhere there’s all the accoutrements that make up a classic Elis and John offering: John provides a deep dive into the significance of pheasants in Danny Champion of the World, and makes an admission about today’s Wordle that will rock you to your very core. Elis expresses his love for the pay-as-you-go car scene, only for John to provide a chilling prediction for the future of motor travel…

You too can get involved in the Elis and John experience. Just email your thoughts and feelings to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp your vibes to 07974 293 022.

#457 - Becoming Compost, Squire Dave and #SenseTheSoil

Elis is on the precipice of glory. Just two things stand between him and immortality. First up is the chance to be crowned the fastest dad in all of key stage 1 at his son’s sports day. We know he plays football a lot and we know he cycles to Brighton sometimes, but can Elis do it on an overcast Thursday in South London?

Secondly, our very own son of Wales has the chance to write his name in Cymru Connecting history (a game that, lest we forget, only he plays professionally). He’s Cymru Connected 4 weeks in a row; can he obtain the never-been-done-before quint Connection?

John is already a winner this week, as he crowns himself Generation Air Fryer’s new pin-up boy. And he makes some bold and slightly worrying claims about the aesthetics of his stomach.

Elsewhere there’s a belting Made Up Game from one of you the you listeners, and Mad Daddery gets turned up to 11.

If the Elis James and John Robins show were a wind turbine, then your correspondence would be the wind making it turn, so keep on sending in your wind (correspondence) to the usual places: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on the emails, and 07974 293 022 on the WhatsApps.

#456 - Mad Foxes, Papa Podium and 40 Rhodris

It's a very smell heavy show today but the aromas aren't good as listeners inform Elis and John of a quite literal VW barrel of eggs and a queasy French exchange tale. 

Meanwhile Maisie Adam is very very hungover after England’s dramatic quarter final win, and Dave gets sacked twice in the first 10 minutes after his lads trip to Mallorca. Of course he sang Wonderwall to some 75 year old couples whilst there. What would you expect?

Plus the wallet debate continues as a huge curveball is thrown into the mix, potentially changing John’s worldview: What if it’s just a bin?

To get in touch it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp or elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk

Remember to head to the Bureau on Saturday morning. Dropping only into those BBC Sounds feeds of yours.

#455 - Badly Well, Warm Panic and A Defence of Yodelling

Elis needs a new car. But how can John advise him on his next whip when shackled by the understandable constraints of undue product prominence? Well John has been on a special course, the Balance BBc (Hons) at a local uni, in order to undertake this difficult task and be What Car?* for the impartial content generation. Can he navigate such tricky waters / roads without risking complaints from rival manufacturers?

But none of that matters in practice because all cars are the same. Every single car. There’s not a single difference between any of them.

Beyond such automotive decision making it’s a busy show. Producer Dave is still off ruining quaint European squares on his lads trip and the boys are joined by two of Elis’s radio heroes for a reflection on radio of the past. There’s also some belting Mad Dads and can Elis complete his first ever Connecting four in a row?

elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on email and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp

*Or Autocar or Auto Express or Classic & Sports Car.

#454 - Swiss Arrogance, All Cars are the Same and One of the UK’s SUVs

The Elis and John realm remains a very zen place to be. So grab your headphones, get into a comfortable position, and let the BBC’s youngest and most chilled out broadcasters relax your busy mind. 

And what could be more relaxing than a chat about arctic rolls? What could induce a sense of calm more than picturing Elis James in a 14th century jester’s outfit? Can you achieve nirvana by talking about the first Ronseal bride? You’ll have to listen to find out. 

Send your dispatches, missives, and communiqués to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

#359 - Puppet Paul, Mindful Diarrhoea and Doing the M6 for Comic Relief

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