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Michael W. Taft


Dedicated to liberation in all its forms, Deconstructing Yourself is passionate about fearlessly investigating, attempting, and questioning all things to do with awakening, meditation, mindfulness, brain hacking, consciousness, neurofeedback, and more.

Your host Michael W. Taft interviews some of the most interesting thinkers, authors, and teachers around, as well as other offerings. In this hard-hitting, radical, and fun podcast we look at secular post-, non-, un- Buddhism, Vajrayana, nondual Hindu Tantra, philosophy, the neuroscience of the sense of self, neurofeedback and the consciousness hacking movement, aspects of artificial intelligence, entheogens, and much more.

If you’re looking for fresh directions, free from dogma and conformism, think of the Deconstructing Yourself podcast as the radical cafe where you can hear from the most interesting luminaries either from the outside edges of dharma, or a fresh take from more traditional teachers. If you’re interested in more, check out the Deconstructing Yourself website at https://deconstructingyourself.com.


Deconstructing Yourself

Host Michael Taft continues his conversation with with Andrew Holecek about the transformative practice of Dark Retreat; the reasons behind the recent surge of interest in darkness practices; its relationship to the feminine principle and as an antidote to runaway patriarchy; the three “tracks” or “schools” of dark retreat in Tibetan Vajrayana: Kalachakra, Nyingma, and Bön; the power of darkness for working with fear, fear of death, projections; fear as a sign that you're close to the truth, and hints for integration post darkness.

Andrew Holecek is an interdisciplinary scholar-practitioner in Tibetan Buddhism and other nondual wisdom traditions. He is the Resident Contemplative Scholar at the Institute for Advanced Consciousness Studies, and a research consultant for the Cognitive Neuroscience Program at Northwestern University. His work involves studies on dream yoga and the practice of dark retreat. Dr. Holecek is a member of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, the author of nine books, and a concert pianist. He has completed the Tibetan Buddhist three-year retreat and is a frequent subject in scientific studies on meditation and lucid dreaming. His work integrates ancient wisdom traditions with contemporary perspectives, aiming to help individuals navigate spiritual challenges and end-of-life experiences. He is currently writing two books on dark retreat. Holecek holds degrees in classical music, biology, and a doctorate in dental surgery.

Andrew Holecek’s website

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Talking about Dark Retreat, Part 2 with Andrew Holecek

Host Michael Taft talks with author David Godman about the sage Ramana Maharshi and his nondual view of the world, whether he considered taking sannyasa (renunciation) to be necessary to achieve awakening, the power of the physical presence of the guru, Sri Ramana's seemingly miraculous learning of Sanskrit, an introduction to Lakshmana Swami—a very advanced student of Ramana, with whom David Godman sat in the 1970s and 80s, Tamil poetry of awakening, and—in a surprising reveal—David Godman endorses a new jnani who lives in Tiruvannamalai.

David Godman has been living in India since 1976, studying and practising the teachings of Ramana Maharshi. During that period he has met and written extensively about many direct disciples of Sri Ramana, including Lakshmana Swamy, Muruganar, Papaji and Annamalai Swami. David has also been involved in several projects that have translated Ramana Maharshi’s Tamil teachings and made them available in English for the first time. His anthology of dialogues with Sri Ramana, Be As You Are, is, outside India, the most widely-read book on Sri Ramana’s teachings.

https://www.davidgodman.org/

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A Conversation with David Godman

Host Michael Taft speaks with Andrew Holecek about the transformative practice of Dark Retreat, how the mind “falls into itself,” light as obfuscator, the revelation of the construction of reality, the power—and very real dangers—of Dark Retreat, ways to begin the practice of Dark Retreat, nondual view, Andrew’s own journey into this practice, and the “collision with the infinite.”

Andrew Holecek is an interdisciplinary scholar-practitioner in Tibetan Buddhism and other nondual wisdom traditions. He is the Resident Contemplative Scholar at the Institute for Advanced Consciousness Studies, and a research consultant for the Cognitive Neuroscience Program at Northwestern University. His work involves studies on dream yoga and the practice of dark retreat. Dr. Holecek is a member of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, the author of nine books, and a concert pianist. He has completed the Tibetan Buddhist three-year retreat and is a frequent subject in scientific studies on meditation and lucid dreaming. His work integrates ancient wisdom traditions with contemporary perspectives, aiming to help individuals navigate spiritual challenges and end-of-life experiences. He is currently writing two books on dark retreat. Holecek holds degrees in classical music, biology, and a doctorate in dental surgery.

Andrew Holecek’s website

You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

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Talking about Dark Retreat, with Andrew Holecek

Host Michael Taft speaks with meditation teacher, clinical psychologist, and author Dr. Tucker Peck about the the difference between developing a clear understanding of how your psychology works and feeling just how you want to feel all the time; the importance of focusing on mental process verses mental content, his practical definitions of sanity and sainthood, his three-stage model of meditation, and what it’s like after years of daily meditation practice. 

Dr. Tucker Peck is a meditation teacher, clinical psychologist, and author. A former professor, he is the founding director of the scholarship fund Open Dharma Foundation, and co-host of the podcast Teaching Meditation. Tucker’s first book, Sanity and Sainthood, debuted as a #1 bestseller in 2025. He teaches a weekly class in-person at the San Francisco Dharma Collective, and has been teaching an online class for advanced meditators since 2012.

You can find Tucker, and see the retreats he's teaching, at meditatewithtucker.com. You can also follow him on Twitter at tucker_peck. In the US, you can buy Sanity and Sainthood at this link, or outside the US, at any major online retailer (like Amazon).

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Sanity and Sainthood, with Dr. Tucker Peck

Host Michael Taft speaks with Stephen Snyder Sensei about practicing the Pa Auk jhanas, the importance of vulnerability in finding authentic strength, his two paths for awakening: the Theravada cessation path and the Zen shikantaza path, how to balance psychological work with awakening, seeing the enlightened qualities of anger (and other difficult emotions), what are “protective” meditations, the three levels of shikantaza practice, koan practice, aloneness as a spiritual path, and the three factors he feels must be present for a true awakening.

Stephen Mugen Snyder, Sensei began practicing daily meditation in 1976. Since then, he has studied Buddhism extensively—investigating and engaging in Zen, Tibetan, Theravada, and Western non-dual traditions. He was authorized to teach in the Theravada Buddhist tradition in 2007 and the Zen Buddhist schools of Soto and Rinzai in 2022. Stephen is a senior student of Roshi Mark Sando Mininberg and a transmitted teacher in the White Plum Asanga—the body of teachers in the Maezumi-roshi lineage. Stephen is the author of many books, including Trust in Awakening, Demystifying Awakening and Buddha’s Heart. 

Stephen Snyder’s website: https://awakeningdharma.org/

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Awakening, Cessation, and Vulnerability, with Stephen Snyder

Host Michael Taft continues a lively discussion with author and ayurvedic physician Dr. Robert Svoboda about the Aghora method of transmutation, alignment with nature, deity yoga, deities as a co-creation of humans and a cosmic force, the path of knowledge vs. the path of devotion, enjoying the flavor of reality, and the foundational importance of devotion. 

Dr. Robert Svoboda is an American author and ayurvedic doctor who gives lectures and courses around the world, related to the subjects of ayurveda, jyotish, tantra, and Eastern religion. Svoboda is the first Westerner to graduate from a college of ayurveda and be licensed to practice ayurveda in India. He is author of eleven books, including Prakriti: Your Ayurvedic Constitution (1989), and the Aghora trilogy about his guru, Vimalananda, and the Aghori sect.

Dr. Svoboda’s website

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Aghora, Deities, and Devotion with Dr. Robert Svoboda

Host Michael Taft talks with Vajrayana teacher and author Charlie Awbery about the meaning of their practice name Rin'dzin Pamo, Tantra, curiosity, new developments in the Evolving Ground community, the role of play and spontaneity in Vajrayana, a special invocation written by them and David Chapman, when the teacher/student relationship breaks down, transformation, and how to liberate the shadow.

Rin'dzin Pamo, also known as Charlie Awbery, author of Opening Awareness; a Guide to Finding Vividness in Spacious Clarity, is a meditation and leadership coach. They are also the co-founder of Evolving Ground a community of contemporary Vajrayana practice. Rin'dzin practiced and studied Vajrayana for thirty years alongside working in international development and human rights. They write at vajrayananow.com

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Invocation and Shadow with Charlie Awbery

Host Michael Taft talks with author and ayurvedic physician Dr. Robert Svoboda about the cemetary practices of the radical nondual Aghora sect, the story of his mentor Vimalananda’s initiation into Aghora and meeting with the goddess Smashan Tara, the path of bhakti vs. the path of jnana, working with the close karmic connections called rnanubandanas, and the importance of continuous remembrance of death.

Dr. Robert Svoboda is an American author and ayurvedic doctor who gives lectures and courses around the world, related to the subjects of ayurveda, jyotish, tantra, and Eastern religion. Svoboda is the first Westerner to graduate from a college of ayurveda and be licensed to practice ayurveda in India. He is author of eleven books, including Prakriti: Your Ayurvedic Constitution (1989), and the Aghora trilogy about his guru, Vimalananda, and the Aghori sect.

Dr. Svoboda’s website

You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

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Tantra, Aghora, and Death, with Dr. Robert Svoboda

Host Michael Taft talks with author and memory expert Anthony Metivier about using memory techniques to enhance meditation, memorizing and reciting scriptures in dead languages as a spiritual practice, using the ancient Memory Palace technique in combination with intense imagery, recall rehearsal, Giordano Bruno, Aristotle, learning foreign languages, nonduality, the Ribhu Gita, and more.

Anthony Metivier is the founder of the Magnetic Memory Method, a modern systematic approach to memorizing foreign language vocabulary, names, music, poetry, and more. Dr. Metivier holds a Ph.D. in Humanities from York University and is widely known for his books, talks, and courses on memory improvement. He is the author of The Victorious Mind: How To Master Memory, Meditation and Mental Well-Being. 

Anthony Metivier's website

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Meditation and Memory with Anthony Metivier

Host Michael Taft speaks with eminent Buddhist teacher, translator, and author Ken McLeod about how to use the Diamond Sutra as a practice text. What is the sutra really getting at? Is it merely an ancient and enigmatic philosophical puzzle or can we use it as a powerful pointing out instruction?

Ken McLeod began his study and practice of Buddhism in 1970 under the eminent Tibetan master Kalu Rinpoche. After completing two three-year retreats, he was appointed as resident teacher for Kalu Rinpoche’s center in Los Angeles, California, where he developed innovative approaches to teaching and translation. After his teacher’s death in 1989, Ken established Unfettered Mind, a place for those whose path lies outside established institutions. His many published works include Wake Up to Your Life, A Trackless Path, and his latest book, entitled The Magic of Vajrayana. 

Ken's website: Unfettered Mind

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Practicing the Diamond Sutra with Ken McLeod

Host Michael Taft speaks with artist, bodyworker, and philosopher Guy Sengstock about the origin and creation of Circling practice, how the asynchronous qualities of new technologies have created a deeper hunger for basic human contact, the crucial importance of embodiment in communication, mindfulness of presence, as well as the new practice he’s creating with Jon Vervaeke, known as Dia-Logos.

Guy Sengstock is the founder and creator of the Circling Method. He has been facilitating transformation for individuals, groups and corporations internationally for more than 20 years. He has a BFA from the San Francisco Art Institute and is the co-founder of The Arête Center for Excellence and the Bay Area Men’s Circle, which is still thriving today. He is an artist, philosopher, poet, body-worker, and visionary.

The Circling Institute

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A Conversation with Guy Sengstock

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