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Focus on the Family


Did you know the Hebrew root word for marriage is the same as mess? Okay, maybe not, but it wasn’t a stretch to believe, right? This is the podcast for Christian married couples who are in the middle of a messy moment. They need to laugh. They need clear, practical advice. And they need to hear from someone with an actual degree in this thing. Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley are those people. They have reached millions of couples through their counseling practices, books, events, and work at Focus on the Family.


Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley interview Pastor Kevin A. Thompson about his book The Creation of Us. Kevin emphasizes that marriage is its own entity where both spouses maintain individuality while building shared rhythms, mission, and unity. We talk about good dependence versus independence or enmeshment, how marriage reveals and can help heal attachment wounds, and “marital attention deficit.” We'll outline the phases of marriage and we answer a listener question about weaponizing sex.
The Creation of Us: How To Build A Great Marriage Without Losing Yourself

Marriage Assessment Tool

Reactive Cycle Tool

Love Styles: Why You Love The Way You Do (And How to Change It)

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Marriage Health In America Study

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Marriage: The Creation of Us

We're continuing our discussion of the “manosphere,” reviewing how it distorts headship and submission and focusing on three additional lies: that emotional vulnerability is weakness, that women are biologically untrustworthy, and that a wife’s body belongs to her husband. Greg and Erin contrast these ideologies with scriptures calling husbands to sacrificially love, cherish, nourish, honor, and create safety so a wife can flourish. We'd love to hear your thoughts on these episodes, so click on the show notes to get in touch with us.
Bearded Gospel Men: The Epic Quest for Manliness & Godliness
What Is Biblical Leadership Articl
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The Manosphere (Part 2 of 2)

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss the Manosphere and the “Christian Manosphere." This is a program that you want to share with all the men in your life. Greg shares research from months of reading forums and explains the first three of six lies that many men are believing. We also go into what submission means for women. Part two is coming up next week, and we can't wait to hear your thoughts after listening to these programs.
Bearded Gospel Men: The Epic Quest for Manliness & Godliness
Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
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The Manosphere (Part 1 of 2)

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss what it means to leave a marital legacy by building a healthy foundation -- with intentional core values -- rather than living by default. Guest Lain McCanless of Rally Your Family describes practical tools to guide decisions, unify spouses, and model faithfulness across generations.This is something you can start today! Then, Greg and Erin share how they fashioned their family crest, and they encourage you try this exercise with your family. Plus, they answer a listener question about leaving a husband who has pawned family heirlooms.
Finishing Well: Biblical Lessons to Maximize Your Later Years
Join The Focus On The Family Strengthening Marriages Facebook Group
Here's Information on a Healing Separation
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
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The "Be" List

Laying the Foundation for Your Legacy

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley are joined by Bob Lepine to discuss how guilt, shame, and past wounds affect marriage. If unresolved hurts are triggering conflict in your relationship, listen to this episode and then share it with your spouse. We also talk about building a healthy sexual relationship and adjusting unrealistic expectations shaped by culture. You'll learn how self-regulate when you go into fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses, too. Plus, we answer a listener question about how to move forward when someone's medical treatment has changed them.
Building A Stronger Marriage: The Path To Oneness
Hope Restored
Conflict Style Quiz
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster.
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Don't Let the Weight of the Past Crush Your Marriage

Does it feel like your life is being interrupted? Financial issues, health concerns, and disagreements with family members can all throw a wrench into our plans. Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley talk with Julie Plagens, who describes common interruptions in her life. We address the need for control, people-pleasing, and messages from how a strict faith background fueled anger and unforgiveness. Greg and Erin also talk about benefits of spending time outdoors together, and they answer a listener about chronic blame in marriage. This is a "meat & potatoes" episode we know you'll enjoy.

Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict as a Couple and Stay in Love
Hope Restored
Conflict Style Quiz
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster.
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Adaptability in Marriage

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley focus on infidelity with Brad and Tami Miller. They discuss how couples drift through busyness, unmet emotional needs, validation-seeking, social media connections, and contrast emotional vs. physical affairs. They also have helpful ideas for couples to avoid the "chore war" and they tackle a listener question about a wife who seems to weaponize the mistakes her husband made in the past. If you know someone who has experienced infidelity, share this link with them!
Anatomy of An Affair
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Hope Restored
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
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Affair Prevention & Recovery

You're really going to be blessed by this program, even if you and your spouse share the same faith. Greg and Erin talk with David McIver, author of Looking For The One. David teaches that loving a spiritually different spouse means seeing them through Jesus’ eyes and praying about where the trust was first broken rather than focusing on behavior. Greg and Erin also talk about a couple that have been married for 84 years, and they answer a listener question about inter-faith marriage and children.
Looking For The One: Stories of Seeing The Lost, Lonely, and Broken Through The Eyes of Jesus
Avoiding Marriage Pitfalls
Find ALL of the Focus On The Family Podcast!
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
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Support For An InterFaith Marriage

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley host a rapid-fire episode answering common marriage questions from both a husband and a wife perspective - with timed responses! They discuss whether spouses should check in when apart, address hidden purchases as “financial infidelity,” evaluate location sharing and phone/social media access, and other common questions couples have. Ultimately, this is to help you and your spouse discuss what must be shared to maintain security, especially after betrayal, and how to respond without weaponizing.
The Reactive Cycle Assessment
Hope Restored
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email
Speak With A Counselor

Rapid Fire Q & A

How is your relationship with your in-laws? Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss what research and experience reveals about in-law relationships, prompted by Erin being asked to speak to a moms group. If conflict, enabling behavior, and parenting disagreements with in-laws seem to take away the PEACE in your family - this is the podcast for you! Make sure you forward the link to other members of your family, too!
Married Into The Family
Article: How Your Relationship with Your In-Laws Impacts Your Marriage
Call Our Free Counseling Line at 1800-A-FAMILY
Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!
Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email

Marrying Into Madness - Dealing with In-laws

What does it mean to choose "we over me" in marriage? This week, join Greg & Erin as they sit down with author and counselor Debra Fileta, who shares insights on how you can build a strong, connected marriage by prioritizing union over personal agenda. Later, we debunk some marriage advice from the internet. Then, we hear a question from a listener whose husband is accusing her of being unfaithful.
 
 
 
Click here to receive Debra's book, "Choosing Marriage," for a gift of any amount!
 
 
 
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Choosing We Over Me

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