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“Countdown With Keith Olbermann,” the landmark news and commentary program that reordered the world of cable news, returns as a daily podcast. Olbermann’s daily news-driven mix will include his trademark “Special Comment” political analysis, the tongue-in-cheek “Worst Persons In The World” segment, and his timeless readings from the works of the immortal James Thurber. The man who turned SportsCenter into a cultural phenomenon will broaden the content to include a daily sports segment, a daily call for help for a suffering dog, and a remarkable series of anecdotes covering a career that stretched from covering the 1980 Olympic Miracle on Ice a month after his 21st birthday, to anchoring the 2009 Presidential Inauguration and the 2009 Super Bowl pre-game show in a span of just twelve days, to rejoining ESPN as a “rookie” baseball play-by-play man at the age of 59.


Countdown with Keith Olbermann

SEASON 3 EPISODE 77: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
 
A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump's return to the world of TV interviews is important (and crazy) but the shooting of the head of United Health Care just blocks from my home actually seems to be one of the watershed moments of 21st Century American Politics. We have often descended into the slough of despond that all political parties, voting, law, government, the entirety of the power structure mean nothing and that the only way to change things is violence. I think we're entering such a stage. If so: fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy night.
 
AS TO TRUMP apart from his latest threat to imprison opponents (everybody on the January 6 House Committee should go to jail) did anybody notice his insistence that we are "subsidizing" Mexico and Canada by $100 Billion a year and at those rates they should become states.
 
Wait. What?
 
Mr. Numb Nuts Psycho President? If Mexico is a STATE in the United States – you know, where you are right now – the people LIVING there become CITIZENS of the United States, so not only can’t you deport people from the US State of Mexico… but you can’t put up a wall between Texas and the state of Mexico and in fact you can’t inhibit movement BETWEEN Mexico and any state of the union. I hope somebody told MAGA about Trump’s new Mexico solution: make it a state. That’d be two senators from Mexico and if New York has 20 million people, 26 congressmen, Mexico with130 million people at 13 congressmen per 10 million residents would get 169 Congressional seats.
 
Trump proposes giving Mexico 169 seats in the US Congress.
 
Also a GOP Senate operative uses the A-word on Tulsi Gabbard, and a Trump operative is ready to blackmail Republican Senators to get Pete Hegseth confirmed anyway.
 
B-Block (25:00) THE OTHER WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: "Democratic" Governor Polis again sides with Sideshow Bob Kennedy. Laura Loomer isn't just hateful, she's stupid. And Marshal Petain would be proud: Jeff Bezos, Joe Scarborough, and Mika Brzezinski all double down on collaborating with the Trump Regime.
 
C-Block (35:55) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: My Lunch With Elie. How a delightful afternoon getting to meet Elie Mystal meant I did NOT meet Martin Scorsese. That, in turns, evokes the story of Francis Ford Coppola unintentionally paying a former colleague of mine something like a million dollars to be in the background of one scene in Godfather II.

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NYC SHOOTING SUGGESTS NEW ERA OF POLITICAL VIOLENCE - 12.9.24

SERIES 3 EPISODE 78: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
 
A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: How did this not generate more headlines? It's just a proposed maneuver out of the legal morass Judge Juan Merchan has helped Trump create. But New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg has suggested that one way to solve this sentencing/but he's president/but we can't dismiss the conviction is to treat Trump - in a legal sense - the way you treat a convicted defendant who DIES before he appeals or is sentence.
 
In short: just pretend Trump is dead.
 
SPEAKING OF A BROKEN LEGAL SYSTEM: I'm not advocating for that, nor for guys assassinating CEO's five blocks from my home. But our legal system is broken and it would behoove commentators, columnists, writers, those who suck up to the moneyed class, and conservatives to stop being so surprised at the idea that maybe a majority of Americans is not as outraged as the wealthy are at the actions of Luigi McDreamy. Maybe you need to wonder more about why they perceive the legal system to be broken and the corporations to be legal excuses for nobody being responsible for innocent people dying and being injured.
 
CHRIS WRAY OBEYS IN ADVANCE: He'll quit as FBI director before the inauguration. Maybe he can make a comeback as Trump's second pick for DNI because Tulsi Gabbard is being attacked from the left, the middle, and now from The Wall Street Journal Editorial Board. Also Hegseth's been caught in another lie, about something he had said in public 48 hours earlier. 
 
B-Block (23:46) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: The World Cup goes to Saudi Arabia because everything is for sale. And an announcement of a candidacy for New York City Council suddenly made me realize that Bill DeBlasio and Eric Adams both became mayor here in part because between us one of my exes and I screwed around with the 2013 campaign. OOPS. (30:22) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Yes she sneaked a gold-plated gun into Australia but how else was she supposed to protect herself at clown school? Speaking of: Newsweek beats the L.A. Times to a "Fairness Meter" for its articles. And Elon Musk insists there's no homelessness because now is exactly the right time for a CEO to assert that.
 
C-Block (39:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: My favorite Holiday story. The day, on my way to interview Mickey Mantle, I ran into somebody I mistook for just another fan - albeit a well-dressed man. Oops. Turned out he was one of the stars of the greatest movie ever made.

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DA ALVIN BRAGG TO JUDGE: PRETEND TRUMP IS DEAD - 12.12.24

SERIES 3 EPISODE 79: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
 
A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: It is now revealed that at a Thanksgiving-eve dinner on a patio at the Mar-a-Lago Crapshack, Trump had his minions play a recording of the national anthem sung by the January 6th Terrorists. Some of them at Trump’s table put their hands over their hearts as the people who stormed our capitol intending to take over our government sang words, the actual meaning of which they cannot possibly understand. Per The Wall Street Journal, one of those who put his hand over his heart during this travesty was… Mark Zuckerberg.
 
Zuckerberg leads the parade of pathetic billionaires also including Jeff Bezos and Sam Altman, who just happen to be donating a million dollars to Trump's inauguration committee. Except for ABC News, which is donating FIFTEEN million to Trump's presidential museum (which may be in an empty warehouse or a sinkhole somewhere) to settle his frivolous and easily winnable defamation case against George Stephanopoulos.
 
On March 22nd, 1979, I was ushered into the small office of a Vice President at the ABC television series “The Wide World of Sports.” His wife had been an assignment editor at the local New York TV station I had interned at the previous summer – though we were not there simultaneously. He and the Mrs. and my friends from the local station all warned me this gentleman would not have a job for me nor even any job leads, just advice.
 
His name was Robert Iger. “Call me Bob,” he insisted. Within fifteen years he was president of ABC and thus the boss of all my bosses at ESPN and he was my boss there three times and for two further years at ABC and he gave me brilliant advice I've repeated a thousand times: if you want to be on the air, don't take an off-air job. It has truly changed lives.
 
And now, after 45-and-a-half years I’d like to repay Bob Iger and give him MY advice: Sell ABC News to somebody who actually cares about the future of news and the future of journalism and the future of this country because you guys at Disney ain’t it any more.
 
What do you think you bought for yourself here, Bob? Trump’s gratitude? Him somehow remembering you fondly the NEXT time ABC News does something he doesn’t like, like, say, accurately report how many people show up to his inauguration, or how many insurrectionists he pardons, or how many people die during the migrant round-ups into the migrant concentration camps?
 
Even if Trump CAN still remember do you think he WILL remember? Or all the mini-Trumps? What you have done is merely become part of the process by which freedom of the press, and freedom in the nation, dissolve. My advice, offered again in gratitude for YOUR advice in 1979: sell ABC News to somebody who cares.
 
B-Block (27:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Did Trump demand the end of Daylight Savings Time but think he was demanding the end of STANDARD Time? Van Jones plus Chris Cillizza equals Extra Large Stupid. And the New York radio station that is quite literally running a bulletin "sound" for "DRONE WATCH 2024." (39:27) SPORTSBALLCENTER: I have actually solved baseball's playoff crisis, the one in which in three of the last four years the team with the best record has been eliminated in its first playoff round and 14 of the 24 division winners have, too. It's actually a really really good idea.
 
C-Block (52:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Offended by this CNN crapfest every night where Abby Phillip lets this jackass Scott Jennings insult everyone and everything good about America, in front of an ever-shrinking audience? We tried this at MSNBC long ago only the clown was Michael Savage. It didn't end well for us and it ain't gonna end well for CNN.

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NOTE TO MY OLD FRIEND BOB IGER: SELL ABC NEWS - 12.16.24

SEASON 3 EPISODE 80: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
 
A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump’s chief thug wants to put Rachel Maddow in prison. Steve Bannon: “I need investigations, trials and then incarceration… Andrew Weissmann on MSNBC and Rachel Maddow and all of them."
 
Oh and just so we are clear on this: YOU are next. Or close to it. Trump is this close to suing YOU for writing mean tweets about him. Or for not voting for him. Or, if your name is Anne Selzer, for putting out a Des Moines Register election poll that didn’t favor him. Emboldened by such pathetic self-prostituting excuses for American leadership as Jeff Bezos, Patrick Soon-Shiong, Joe Scarborough -- and Bob Iger and all the snatch-defeat-from-the-jaws-of-victory cowards at Disney and ABC News -- Trump has now lost any remaining sense that anybody is even going to try to stop him. It is hard to point at a crazy man and say he’s now lost it, but… he’s now lost it.
 
You are next. Well, you’re probably behind me, and we’re both behind Maddow, and she’s behind Anne Selzer, but you know what I mean.
 
So Bannon wants to lock up Maddow and others at MSNBC and their co-workers Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski scuttled to Mar-a-Lago to save their own worthless asses. Ten days ago the entertainment news site Variety asked me to write a piece for their year-in-review on what MSNBC should do now. The TL;dr was: double down because all the other progressive and neutral news organizations have fled in fear and left you the same kind of opportunity for monopoly that we had there in 2005. The audience will be back with you directly. Stay the course. Of course you have to fire Mr. and Mrs. Scarborough or you let them turn you into MSN-Vichy. I'll give you a longer version of what I did for the magazine. 
 
B-Block (32:07) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Trump's Tariffs Plan. It apparently never dawned on him it would draw retribution. Ontario's premier threatens to cut off the Canadian electricity that directly services 1.5 million Americans. A Democratic pollster says the campaign should've been food costs not democracy and never once gets near the actual answer: both. And the most recent GOP candidate for Governor of Pennsylvania can't tell the difference between a "downed drone" and a "toy movie prop headed for the next Comicon."
 
C-Block (41:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: At 86, Ted Turner is in-and-out. At 43, when I worked for him, none of us would have bet on him still being in, at all. He was a crazy man and a danger to himself, and thank goodness he steered out of the skid. But the crazy version left me countless stories, like the time he nearly fired me over the cameraman's choice of hats, and I nearly responded by socking him.

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TRUMP LACKEY SAYS HE WANTS TO JAIL RACHEL MADDOW - 12.18.24

SEASON 3 EPISODE 81: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
 
A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: To paraphrase Van Jones and other panderers: This was the weekend Elon Musk truly became president.
 
It was also the weekend the other guy became Donald J. Trumpuppet.
 
The number of Republicans who defied Trump over the Continuing Resolution ranges, depending on your point of view, from 29 to ALL of them. Because they also voted by unanimous consent to bury Musk's fabricated controversy over the no-cost land transfer to the District of Columbia. Trump, for his part, is in a bigger hole now than he ever was during his presidency as the self-inflicted losses pile up:
 
The Gaetz Lack-of-Ethics Report may come out today. Other nominations are in trouble. One new one may be Alan Dershowitz and another may have padded his resume. The idea of Recess Appointments is forgotten. Trump has been taunted with the "Musk Is President" chatter. Some Republicans are taking it seriously and suggesting him for Speaker. And that in turn let Democrats emphasize Trump tanked the deal to benefit his interests with the Chinese Communist Party.
 
And Trump spoke yesterday for the first time in weeks and sounded drunk - which is a problem, because he doesn't drink. All while he is being pursued by his two worst enemies: himself - and Musk.
 
B-BLOCK (27:00) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Remember my suggestion that MSNBC's response to Trump's win and its own tanking ratings was to do nothing but double down and exploit the Liberal Media Monopoly the cowards at CNN, The Washington Post and others were giving them? Guess what! MSNBC's new boss wants... better relationships with Republicans. (40:56) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Martin Shrkeli emerged from his sewer to get owned on social media, New York sends a bill for damages to the family of a guy a police officer killed with an unmarked car, and are there secret Mark Burnett Trump Outtake Tapes? Don't ask Burnett - he now works for Trump.
 
C-BLOCK (50:20) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: You have your Christmas story, I have mine. Mine is about falling off a cliff near Malibu filming a commercial for fast-food chicken. Stick around for the post-closing theme guest appearance Easter eggs courtesy some of my dogs.

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THIS WAS THE WEEKEND ELON TRULY BECAME PRESIDENT - 12.23.24

SEASON 3 EPISODE 82: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
 
A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: My friend – and what a privilege it has been to call him that – President Jimmy Carter would disagree that he is STILL the lead story, the day after. After all, he might note, he WAS 100, he was in hospice a year-and-a-half, his own grandson said he was in his final days – that was last May 15th. How, Keith, is this a surprise to you? The Braves letting Freddie Freeman leave should have been a surprise to you!
 
He would probably disagree he was the best since FDR, probably arguing that the best since FDR at least got re-elected. I will make my case, and more importantly, my case that the fact he WASN’T re-elected was the beginning of the end. The 1980 election was when I realized America wanted a spokesmodel, not a leader. A fake smile, not principles; often somebody dumber than they were. Even Clinton and Obama and their exceptional presidencies prevailed on charisma. That we turned away a complete human for a mentally diminished bad actor who wasn't that sharp to begin with has set a pattern we may never break before the nation ends.
 
I will also tell the thoroughly satisfying story of how President Carter became my friend, after which there was very little I could point to professionally and say 'I have left this unaccomplished.'
 
B-Block (29:52) NEWS BREAK: Two legal scholars insist that a week from today Democrats in the house must refuse to certify Trump’s election because the specific legislation to disqualify him for insurrection that the Supreme Court demanded in this year’s 14th Amendment case already exists.
 
But on the Washington-focused news site “The Hill” they insist no matter what the Supreme Court says and no matter what the consequences might be, Trump has already been DISQUALIFIED from federal office under the 14th Amendment AND Article Two gives the House sole authority to confirm a presidential election and I will add that while once again I cannot tell you how much this is not going to happen it would be nice to see Democrats do something, something, anything at all, just to peacefully protest what a failed and useless crapshow the government and its supposed protections against dictatorships and authoritarians and foreign control of our government has become – and what a hapless and flaccid vessel the Democratic party has become in the wake of Trump’s treacherous conspiracies to transform and subvert what was our clunky but largely functional form of representative government in, you know, the good old days of yore, like, oh, 2013 and 2014 into a subsidiary of Trump or Musk Enterprises. You know: AmericaX.
 
C-Block (56:20) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: What did you do on Christmas Eve? Go out into the cold, under-dressed, to search for Sasquatch? Last time they'll try that! Marianne Williamson is running for DNC chair because things ain't hella enough. And Cenk Uygur manages to beclown himself in a new way for the record-breaking 1000th time.

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THE GREATEST PRESIDENT SINCE FDR IS DEAD - 12.30.24

SEASON 3 EPISODE 83: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
 
Bulletin (1:45) In the worst post-disaster, post-terrorism news conference in our history, a string of elected officials and police and other law enforcement officers somehow managed to make worse a terror tragedy that has left at least ten people dead in the French Quarter of New Orleans on New Year's Day.
 
If the least sophisticated form of terrorism – a car driving onto a sidewalk and then into a crowd on the street during holiday celebrations – happens in a city known for crowds on the street during holiday celebrations – do not congratulate each other on the great job you’ve done and will do - and get mad at reporters for asking how the hell it happened.
 
And most of all, Superintendent of Police Anne Kirkpatrick and Captain LeJon Roberts, do not explain as if it were the most natural thing in the world, that the bollards – the removable stainless still blocks designed to keep terrorists from driving onto pedestrian-filled streets – that you bought a decade ago didn’t work right so two months ago you started to replace them and you have the new ones ready to go and they’ll provide total safety only they weren’t there on New Year’s Eve so you had a police car blocking the road but that the terrorist simply drove up onto the sidewalk instead.
 
And then to listen to Senator John Kennedy, the Foghorn Leghorn of American politics, and Governor Jeff Landry, with the tone and stupidity of a supervisor of a chain gang, try to score political points, foment conspiracy theories, make jokes while bodies still lay on the streets, and assure everyone The Sugar Bowl (and, in a month) the Super Bowl will be safe because he, Landry The Human Talisman, will be there - combined with the lies of Trump and Marjorie Greene about the Texas-born terrorist being an immigrant - add up to this: the non-rank-and-file people responsible for protecting New Orleans last night didn't know what they were doing last night, and they don't know what they are doing today.

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NEW ORLEANS: WORST TERRORISM NEWS BRIEFING IN OUR HISTORY - 1.1.25

SEASON 3 EPISODE 84: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
 
A-Block (1:50) SPECIAL COMMENT: Happy Insurrection Day, when Republicans will certify the election of a “president” who is constitutionally ineligible to hold the office according to the 3rd clause of the 14th Amendment and the Electoral Count Reform Act of 2022 and who himself fomented the assault four years ago that ended our conceit about the peaceful transfer of power. The illegitimate president’s Republican whores and servants may in fact trudge to the capitol through a blizzard to make this prostitution of democracy official
 
The Democrats? They won’t say anything because this didn’t TEST well as a campaign ad and their flaccid willingness to risk anything in our defense is further deflated by their perception that this is a fait accompli and since it is a fait accompli ESPECIALLY because of their own cowardice they now have to do their best to compromise, and obey in advance, a group of bandits and pirates posing as a presidential administration, whose only desire TO compromise is to compromise Democrats and the Free Press and Reality and democracy itself.
 
These are some of those Republicans: Freshman Congressman Riley Moore – “My constituents have sent me here to this town not to work with Democrats but to destroy their agenda." “We asked everyone not to leak. Please for god’s sake do not give inside information to the enemy” that's from the LEAD Republican in the House, the CREEPIEST Republican in the House since Denny Hastert, Mike Johnson and I don’t know if by “the enemy” he means the Democrats or the media or both or the temptations of his anti-porn app, and I no longer care.
 
This is Insurrection Day and we all KNOW what the Republicans would be doing today in the mirror version of this grim reality; if they were in charge and Trump were in office and had presidential immunity and a new president was about to sign off on putting him in jail and it would be what they actually did four years ago today only they wouldn’t bother to try to be subtle or legal about it (they’d be gassing up the tanks).
 
AND NO, JUDGE JUAN MERCHAN IS NO HERO. He too is obeying in advance. Along with the Washington Post, squeezing out cartoonist Ann Telnaes. And Brian Stelter, covering up for Fox News. And the media soft-pedaling the Vegas bomber's hopes to see all Democrats murdered, and Congressman Tom Suozzi, and soon-to-disappear Senator Kyrsten Sinema.
 
B-Block (29:30) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Those memorializing Aaron Brown without including the incident about his refusal to cover The Challenger explosion; Congresswoman Nancy Mace and "Gunther Eagleman" who only read the headline; and the meticulous Oliver Darcy who only gets mentioned here because he asked a question that really traumatized me: What will Olivia Nuzzi do in 2025? (42:14) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Remember dear Flaco? The majestic owl liberated from the Central Park Zoo? There is an extraordinary new book about him. And from an old book: remember the Ash Heaps in "The Great Gatsby"? They were real and you'll never believe what was built were they used to sit.
 
C-Block (52:00) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Young Tippy needs the same surgery my new pup Kitt just got, and we need your help to pay for it. (55:30) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: It's an actors' story that invokes Trump, Orson Welles, The Odd Couple, Mike Nichols - and me?
 
 

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THEY ARE CERTIFYING A PRESIDENT WHO IS INELIGIBLE TO SERVE - 1.6.26

SEASON 3 EPISODE 85: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
 
A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: Justice Samuel Alito must be off from the Supreme Court of the United States. Immediately. Today. He is without any morals, ethics, judicial standards, and if he is aware of the CONCEPT of the appearance of the conflict he no longer gives a damn. ABC News reports – and Alito confirms – that on TUESDAY he SPOKE to Trump – the day before Trump’s lawyers filed an emergency request demanding Alito and the other justices BLOCK New York Judge Juan Merchan from sentencing Trump tomorrow for his 34 convictions in the Election Interference/Stormy Daniels case here. Even though there is 0% chance of jail time, and probably not much more of one of probation or a fine.
 
The convicted felon constitutionally ineligible president-elect is also has the TikTok case in front of the Supreme Court AND will probably take the release of either or both of the two halves of the Jack Smith report on Trump – Espionage and the Coup Attempt – to the Supreme Court to try to keep those reports from ever seeing the light of a day and this human embodiment of sleaze Sam Alito TALKED TO HIM BY PHONE less than 48 hours ago.And what is Alito’s excuse for this complete breach of judicial etiquette? Alito told ABC the conversation WAS not about the cases, it was about… a job reference he wanted to personally given to get his law clerk a job in Trump's administration - even if it's true, ALSO a conflict of interest.
 
Sam Alito to ABC News: "We did not discuss the emergency application he filed today, and indeed, I was not even aware at the time of our conversation that such an application would be filed. We also did not discuss any other matter that is pending or might in the future come before the Supreme Court or any past Supreme Court decisions involving the President-elect." 
 
Nonsense.
 
Sam Alito lied in the case of the political flags flown over his homes and his conflicts with neighbors. He has publicly complained that the American public has had the nerve to disagree with him. He has imposed his religious nut job views on cases at the Court. How could you be so dense, so unaware of the hatred you personally have brought down upon this once most respected of American governmental institutions, as to conduct that call, NOW? I mean this would be cheap and petty and obvious and a conflict of interest even by Trumpian standards.
 
Just recusing is insufficient. He must be off the court. In point of fact, Alito should recuse, resign… and go to hell.
 
SOLUTION TO AILEEN CANNON? Ignore her. Solution to Mark Zuckerberg: Wonder with what Trump has threatened him. Solution to a tough Fox News town hall: Give Trump the questions secretly beforehand. Solution to invading Greenland, Canada, and Panama when we are by treaty required to protect Greenland, Canada and Panama? You got me.
 
B-Block (46:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Jen Psaki does a lengthy commentary wondering, four years too late, if Merrick Garland was the wrong choice to be Attorney General and she was wrong to promote him. Ultimately she decides she didn't screw up because "nobody can predict the future" even though the rest of us did. Like even Erick Erickson, whose J6 tweet resurfaces in which he called for barring Trump for office for life. And the suicide bomber Bezos brought in to destroy the Washington Post actually asked how to attract Trump supporters.
 
C-Block (58:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: The mandatory evacuation line in Santa Monica is three blocks north of the home I used to own when I worked there. It's amazing how a trivial detail like that can clarify a disaster like the L.A. fires - and how millions of us Angelenos (me included) managed to live in denial about the risks of living and building and expanding there. This is not criticism - it's confession.

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SLEAZE: ALITO, TRUMP TALK, BEFORE ALITO RULES ON TRUMP CASES - 1.9.25

SEASON 3 EPISODE 86: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
 
A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: MAGA in disarray. While the mass deportation scheme becomes the latest casualty of having elected a bunch of incompetent egomaniacs, Steve Bannon has declared war on Elon Musk. AND Elon Musk’s toady David Sachs. AND Peter Thiel.
 
Bannon no longer will stop at getting Musk exiled from the White House because Bannon and the rest of the nativist lunatics hate all foreigners but Musk wants to not hate foreigners who can make him more rich via the H1B Visas. Bannon now wants Musk and the others to be the first immigrants thrown out of the country. He actually told this to Italy’s most-read newspaper, Corriere della Sala: "He is a truly evil guy, a very bad guy. I made it my personal thing to take this guy down... he should go back to South Africa. Why do we have South Africans, the most racist people on earth...making any comments at all on what goes on in the United States."
 
The point isn't whether Musk actually does kill and eat Musk. It's that they fight. Because at the same time Musk is admitting he can only cut half of the "government inefficiency" he promised to, and "Border Czar" Tom Homan is warning Republicans that Trump won't be deporting millions immediately. More like 60,000. And the Trump junta has admitted it can't unilaterally lower grocery prices, or install universal tariffs, and he's not going to dig up the Panama Canal and move it to Mar-a-Lago on Inauguration Day, he ain’t buying Greenland and coercing Canada and guess what, he didn’t “settle” Russia’s war on Ukraine in 24 hours, and his minions are hinting his attempts to turn the LA fires into an exploitable political event are going to crash.
 
And even before re-gaining power, Trump has pre-failed.
 
B-Block (34:55) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Joe Scarborough doubles down on his role as Marshal Petain-In-The-Ass at MSNVIchy. Politico dubs him "Elon Mush" then deletes it. And Naomi Wolf thinks victims of the Southern California firestorm aren't panicking enough.
 
C-Block (45:20) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: It's bleak and the forecast for next week is Trump. So I need a laugh and maybe you do too. And this we bring you back to 1994 and the greatest off-air laugh in ESPN's history: Soccer Breakdown.

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THE MAGA PLAN TO KILL AND EAT ELON MUSK - 1.13.25

SERIES 3 EPISODE 88: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
 
A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: Which one of these stories will you be talking about tomorrow? Remember when he said he’d be a dictator but only on day one? It’s day one. BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR: “The great thing about moving Trump’s inauguration to the rotunda,” writes Biden-Harris advance man Doug Landry, “is that all of his supporters already know how to get there.” CAPITULATION NATION: CBS is discussing settling the most nonsensical lawsuit Trump has ever filed because the settlement would be a wonderfully legal bribe. IT'S NOT A SURPRISE IMMIGRATION RAID if you tell everybody. These fascist morons couldn't stop boasting about their move against Chicago. Now it's almost off. RAMASWAMY GONE! Or as we called him, The Schwam: GONE! Hey, whaddya know, the Department of Government Efficient actually HAS cut waste! 
 
B-Block (32:39) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Rand Paul is so stupid he thinks running hoses out of the Pacific Ocean could've stopped the Firestorm. An actual major brand is introducing a new product and the catch phrase is "It's soup you can suck!" And Trump finds a new way to spray paint something that cheap flat gold color he loves while getting the name of one of his education employees wrong.
 
C-Block (42:00) IN MEMORY OF BOB UECKER: The second worst thing about getting old – not VERY old, just old-old – is having to watch nearly all those older than you who, accepted in what was their field and then became theirs and yours – pass on. Especially when they are the widely beloved standard-setters of those fields like Bob Uecker.

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TRUMP SAID HE'D BE A DICTATOR ONLY ON DAY ONE. IT'S DAY ONE - 1.20.25

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