My Mom Used Me To Hurt My Cheating Father

Growing up in her native Ecuador, my guest Maria Mendoza-Smith lived a privileged upper middle class life filled with nannies, maids, and caregivers. Until age 6, Maria lived with her mother, father and extended family who helped raise her.

Unfortunately, Maria’s father was a serial cheater, so when his flagrant sexual exploits became too embarrassing and difficult to tolerate, her mother took extreme measures to end the emotional abuse brought on by the affairs. Some may qualify Maria’s mother’s actions as bold and justified, while others may see how she responded to the cheating as abhorrent.

Maria talks with poise and grace about how she resented her mother, longed for her father’s attention, and struggled with lifelong abandonment issues sparked by her father’s affairs. Maria’s capacity to forgive and accept what she calls the “gray area of morality” helped her find peace with both her parents before they passed away, then go on to build trust and devotion in her own marriage of 20 plus years.