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Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

In this episode of Camp Counselors, we’re taking flight with absolutely no flight plan. Spicy requests, smooth move tea, SodaStreams, musical greeting cards, sun lounger lawsuits, hootie AND his blowfish.

This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.

Works Cited:

➜ Shkurtaj, Tereza. “Woman, 24, Tracks Down 72-Year-Old Man Who Used to Have Her Phone Number After She Receives Cryptic Text from Stranger (Exclusive).” People, 2 May 2026.

➜ Thomas, Garvin. “San Francisco Woman Gets Photographer’s Old Number. It Changes Both Their Lives.” NBC Bay Area, 3 May 2026.

➜ “German Tourist Wins Payout after Losing 6am Race for Sun Lounger.” The Times, 6 May 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

183 - Dear SodaStream: Forgive Me (TELL ALL)

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a Crock Pot kitchen nightmare, a sweaty night at the club with Jwoww, and a center stage fart!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp (and use code: camp) to get up to 20% off during the Memorial Day Sale! Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Protect your teeth with Remi at ShopRemi.com/camp and use code CAMP to get 50% off your new night guard! Exclusions apply. See site for details.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

OOPSIE! My Crock Pot Kitchen Fire - Trail Mix 133

In this episode of Camp Counselors, we are invading the world of alien abductions, UFO sightings, Goldie Hawn’s emotional alien encounter, and discuss what WE BELIEVE aliens actually look like. Naturally, this leads to Jersey Shore clips, Area 51 theories, and a VERY open invitation for aliens to come on the podcast with final edit approval. (If yall are reading this out there please email our team or respond via crop circle, whichever is easiest for you. We know you're busy.) Then, Counselor Jonathan covers the heart stopping news story of a CPR instructor who legit had a real-ass heart attack while teaching students how to respond to one. Plus a nationwide SCAM involving mysterious packages sent from a sketchy sender named Davve (with two Vs)... This story hits home because COUNSELOR ZACHARIAH has been selected to be SCAMMED! Can you believe?! 

This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to GoodChop.com/podcast and use code 50camp to get $50 off plus free shipping on your first order of high quality meat delivered right to your door!

➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.

➜ Go to REVOLVE.com/CAMP to shop and use code CAMP for 15% off your entire order. Offer ends soon so don’t wait!

➜ Go to Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.

➜ See less carts go abandoned and more sales go with Shopify. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at Shopify.com/camp

➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get $20 off your first three orders and a FREE $60 gift.

Works Cited:

➜ Goodyear, Sheena. "Wisconsin EMT Saves Man Having Heart Attack on His Way to Pick Up His Own Medication." CBC Radio, 2026. Accessed 19 May 2026.

➜ Kraus, Jennifer. "Brushing Scam Sends Hundreds of Mysterious White Packages to Mailboxes and Porches Across the Country." NewsChannel 5, n.d. Accessed 19 May 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

182 - RUDE: UFO Did NOT Probe Me!

In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper with wedding-party homework and one mysterious keepsake, a spa day turned homemade waterpark, and the terrifying tale of a camper and the nightmare under the stairs.

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Tackle your to-do list today and get $15% off your first task at taskrabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code camp

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This Man Secretly Lived Under My Stairs - Trail Mix #132

This week we talk about our journey of a lifetime to Thackerville, Oklahoma to see Stevie Nicks at the world’s largest casino!! We’re talking vodka Red Bulls, Panda Express pandamonium (hehe), and Zachariah finding God in a fried bologna sandwich. This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Sponsors:

➜ Shoot Your Shot is HER’s open call for event organizers and community hosts! Applications are now open HERE!

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp (and use code: camp) to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Shop now at Fabletics.com/camp to get 70% to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Limited time only.

➜ Go to Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.

➜ Protect your teeth with Remi at ShopRemi.com/camp and use code CAMP to get 50% off your new night guard!

Works Cited:

➜ Gaikwad, Shilpy Arora. “‘Girl Power’: Women Track Down Burglars, Find Thief Wearing Their Stolen Clothes.” Stuff, 29 Apr. 2026.

➜ Hollingsworth, Heather. “Identity Thief Whose Deception Led to His Victim’s Incarceration Gets a 12-Year Prison Term.” AP News, Associated Press, 31 Jan. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

181 - Oklahomos!

In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a drive-thru altercation between two unlikely divas, a camper who thought she was driving to work alone until someone touched her shoulder, and a nightmare first date that felt impossible to get out of.

Sponsors:

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Go to zbiotics.com/CAMP15 to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use CAMP15 at checkout.

➜ Shoot Your Shot is HER’s open call for event organizers and community hosts! Applications are now open HERE!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Listen online here!

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My Nightmare Passenger - Trail Mix #131

This week we open with a crime neither of us has committed but both have fully romanticized... writing bad checks! Counselor Zach has a lot of feelings about Graza olive oil. Then we are getting biblical, yall! We improv our way through the Garden of Eden and obviously reassign some roles. For real, Eve needs a complete character overhaul. Eve deserved better talent representation and we are here to fix that. This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Shoot Your Shot is HER’s open call for event organizers and community hosts! Applications are now open HERE!

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP 

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

➜ Go to Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.

➜ Go to zbiotics.com/CAMP15 to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use CAMP15 at checkout.

Works Cited:

➜ Grace, Asia. "Chinese Carmakers Rolling Out Cars With In-Vehicle Toilet." New York Post, 17 Apr. 2026.

➜ Budnick, Niki. "Causing a Catastrophe." The Weather Channel, n.d. Accessed 5 May 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

180 - Adam & Eve Improv Class

In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a Disneyland trip that took a downward spiral the moment grandma opened her purse, a road trip that turns into a full police kidnapping investigation, and a camper who climbed a tree on a second date and came down a different woman.

Sponsors:

➜ Stop settling for wines that don't quite hit the mark! Head to TryFirstleaf.com/camp to sign up and you'll get fifty percent off your first box PLUS free shipping for an entire year.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ This year, give Mom a gift that helps her reflect on her life with fresh perspective. Order StoryWorth RIGHT NOW and save up to $20 at StoryWorth.com/ campcounselors

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sippin Lean at Disneyland - Trail Mix #130

Heyy happy campers! This week we’re unpacking hosting anxiety, seed libraries, harsh movie reviewers, driver’s licenses being revoked, and so much more. Grab your bug juice and settle in... or else.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Works Cited:

➜ Good News Network. "Urine From Music Festival Toilets is Fertilizing a New Biodiverse Forest With Odor-Free Nutrients." Good News Network, 11 Apr. 2026.

➜ Schaller, Janek, and Megan Hall. "What Are Seed Libraries?" The Public's Radio, 31 Mar. 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

179 - Don't Touch Grass, Twirl Your Bush!

In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who got a call from a TV network, a reckless house party traumatized a mother, and a nightmare party that had a camper sweating her yabbos off.

Sponsors:

➜ For a limited time, get $25 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frame (Wirecutter’s #1 pick) at AuraFrames.com with promo code: CAMP

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

OOPSIE! My Crock Pot Kitchen Fire - Trail Mix 133

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