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Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

This week’s episode is a full cross-country recap of our travel week. We kicked things off in New York City for Zachariah’s live show, plus his SPICY moment on Hot Ones. From there, we headed straight to Salt Lake City, where a very enthusiastic Mormon couple attempted to convert us. They were like... totally obsessed with us. Then we made a spiritual pilgrimage to Swig to get our hands on some dirty sodas! Of course, Zach almost had a bathroom emergency at the Mormon temple that sent us sprinting to Nordstrom. Then we got on a spooky scary shaky flight to Portland, OR and not gonna lie we were scared lol the aggressive turbulence was real. Then Jonathan covers the story of a toddler who literally eats books and furniture, and Zach covers the story of a loose pig named Breakfast who is terrorizing a New York neighborhood. It's a lot!

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com/camp

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 25% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.

➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE breakfast for a year!

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Amos, Ilan Ben. “My One-Year-Old Eats Books, Toys, Tables and Even His Cot.” BBC News, 2024.

➜ Mason, Erin. “Loose Pig Named ‘Breakfast’ Is Terrorizing Residents of a New York Neighborhood.” The Independent, 2024.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

161 - COOL! Mormon Couple Tried to Convert Us!

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories! First, Counselor Jonathan read a confession from a former college junior whose feud with her roommate escalated into a petty act of revenge involving yellow liquid a bottle of mouthwash. Then, Counselor Zachariah breaks down a listener’s journey running the Taco Bell 50K in Denver!! YES FOR REAL! Crunchwraps, wrong turns, and all 31 miles of the race. Finally, a camper has an unforgettable day on the set of a beloved 2000s Nickelodeon show, where a wad of gum left the most mortifying first impression. IT'S A JUICY ONE!

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/CAMP today. 

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My Infamous Encounter With a Nickelodeon Teen Queen - Trail Mix #110

It all started with a simple trip to TJ Maxx. Because every great night begins in the clearance aisle. From there, things only went uphill. Hibachi takeout, a Sister Wives marathon, and a little too much saké that led Zach to start one sided beef with TLC network and then continue to DM one of the stars of the show. This week, we unpack our obsession with reality TV drama, a strong opinion on fake “podcasts” that are really just ads disguised as "entertaining clips" or whatever. Then Zachariah tells his own harrowing tale when his stomach betrayed him in a coffee shop. We're talking newly found cough drops, a lawsuit involving a duck on a SeaWorld roller coaster, and our love for the Y2K pop duo ASHNIA. It's a lot, but so are we ;)

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com/camp 

➜ Get up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Jocelyn Solis-Moreira. “Scientists Are One Step Closer to Letting Humans ‘Breathe’ Through Their Butts.” Men’s Health, 24 Oct. 2025.

➜ Nick Papantonis. “Woman Knocked Unconscious by Duck While Riding Roller Coaster, Lawsuit Claims.” WFTV, 28 Oct. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

160 - Sliding Into Sister Wives DMs

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories! First, a camper discovers her boyfriend is a little too close to his twin brother... like… way too close. Then, a heartwarming story about a grandfather sending a message from the other side. And finally, a seemingly innocent April Fools’ Day prank that turned into 17 years of petty revenge and one perfectly evil text.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Start making progress with your money today. Open an account in minutes at Chime.com/CAMP

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My Boyfriend & His Twin Are WAY Too Close - Trail Mix #109

This week at camp, we’re recapping our wild tour stops through Nashville, Kansas City, and Chicago. Yes, a honky-tonk woman in an arm sling was hitting on us at the Nashville Dolly Parton rooftop bar. Then we cover the riveting story of a man who spent months convincing Costco to give him their iconic $1.50 hot dog sign, and the Vatican finally returning Indigenous artifacts to Canada. Naturally we spiral into a series of passionate rants about everything from being forced to “pre-save” albums that aren’t even out yet and sandwich shops drowning their food in mayo. UGH! (though Jonathan approves of the mayo-forward recipes lol) We also yearn for the golden age of DVDs with alternate endings, confess our love for reading smut in public, and weigh in on Hayley Williams’ new album drop for Ego Death. Plus a little Zara Larsson appreciation to round things out.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 25% off! Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/2daxxo2x As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Michael Gwilliam. “Man Spends Months Convincing Costco to Give Him Iconic $1.50 Hot Dog Sign.” Dexerto, 2024.

➜ Megan Williams. “Indigenous artifacts held in Vatican Museums heading back to Canada.” CBC News, 22 Oct. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

159 - NICE! A Woman in An Arm Sling Hit On Me At The Dolly Parton Statue

In this mini episode we are reading more chaotic listener submitted stories! First up, a camper lets someone change the song... and accidentally uncovers her fiancé’s double life. Then, a hungover college girl runs over a cup of queso in a parking-garage. And finally, a middle-school leadership camp goes completely off the rails thanks to a mouthwash-chugging, money-stealing bunkmate. From cheating scandals to cheesy disasters to unhinged roommates, it’s another handful of Trail Mix you won’t want to miss.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMP at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE breakfast for a year!

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP 

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I Shared My Passcode... And My Fiancé - Trail Mix #108

HAPPY HALLOWEEN CAMPERS! This week, we step into the button-eyed world of Coraline for our annual spooky episode! And we're taking you on a journey from the World Worm Charming Championships, to the Taco Bell Ultramarathon! People are literally changing their eye color, Jonathan has Aphantasia, and it's a lot to unpack. Come hang out for Halloween, listen to some unhinged tangents, and meet us in the mess hall to bob for semi-rotten apples!

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Works Cited:

➜ Ella Glossop. “Vibrations and Victories at the World Worm Charming Championships.” HUCK Magazine, 5 Sept. 2025.

➜ Luis Prada. “The U.S. Ultramarathon Where Runners Eat Taco Bell for 31 Miles.” VICE, 13 Oct. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

158 - We Have Coraline At Home

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about an empty duplex that had an active weekend, a camper whose bachelorette weekend came with one extra bridesmaid, a camper who learned that while she was watching the house, something was watching her.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Start making progress with your money today. Open an account in minutes at Chime.com/CAMP

➜ Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/CAMP today. 

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My Bridesmaid is A Ghost! (And She Craves Attention) - Trail Mix #107

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 20% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Save 20% on your FIRST order and get a FREE cat toy at PrettyLitter.com/camp (Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed Veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details.)

➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.

Works Cited:

➜ Catherine Woulfe. “Let’s Find a Mate for Ned.” New Zealand Geographic. Accessed 21 Oct. 2025.

➜ Robert Mackey. “New California Law Bans Loud Ads on Streaming Services for ‘Peace and Quiet.’” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 7 Oct. 2025. 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

157 - We Met The Magic Mike Men

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper finding out that kindness may be costing them their fridge, a story about a camper who learned that some guests never leave, and a tale of a camper who learned crisis management through carbs.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My Infamous Encounter With a Nickelodeon Teen Queen - Trail Mix #110

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