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Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

In this mini episode, we are reading listener-submitted stories about a camper trapped in a family feud with a public comment section, a camper who learned the horrors below the backyard trap door, and a camper with zero spatial awareness and maximum destruction.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I Fell Into The Septic Tank! - Trail Mix #119

Hey happy campers! Our heat went out while we were on tour and unfortunately we could not record a new episode in the 30 degree studio while strange men worked on our house. Full horror story coming next Weds. So sorry, we hope you understand.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

(Replay) 83 - Corn Smut

In this mini episode, we read listener submitted stories about a camper whose casual drive became a public takedown, a camper who really put a skid-mark on Highway 94, and a tale of a witch and her turkey sandwich.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMP at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

COOL! Bologna Is Both Lunch and Paint Remover - Trail Mix #118

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

Sources:

➜

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

167 - "MILF4EVR" Revoked: DMV Ruins The Vibes Again

In this mini episode, we read listener submitted stories about camper seeking advice for her mom’s new boyfriend’s gardening tool, a story about a camper who went from ice princess to public enemy number one, and a camper who’s lie at theater camp would surely get her cancelled on the internet.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Ice Princess to Public Enemy Number 1 - Trail Mix #117

This episode is all over the place. Jonathan may have witnessed a crime (and is both willing and able to be subpoenaed), while Zachariah is convinced that his new snatched bod has put him on every kidnapper’s radar. PLUS there is a Thai fortune-teller drama unfolding (tea) and Illinois is being lame by rejected vanity license plates (booo!) There is almond milk slander, gummy vitamin love, and obvi so much more.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.

➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.

➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE breakfast for a year!

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

Sources:

➜ Sarkar, Alisha Rahaman. “Fortune-teller accused of stealing client’s phone to make ‘bad luck’ prophecy come true.” The Independent, 2 Jan. 2026. 

➜ Miller, Violet. “‘IBPOOPN’ and ‘ICUP’ among 550 license plates rejected by Illinois secretary of state.” WBEZ Chicago, 22 Dec. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

166 - Becoming Gummy Nyquil Advocates

In this mini episode, we are reading listener-submitted stories about camper whose ring doorbell proved she had an alarming repeat visitor, a camper who committed a finger-lickin’ cover-up, and a story about a camper whose ski trip took a turn halfway down the mountain.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Après-Ski? More Like Oops-I-Shit-Myself - Trail Mix #116

Yet another wildly unqualified gay podcast handing out awards! Welcome to The 2nd Annual Nunu Nana Awards! Today we celebrate the best of what we talked about last year and the absolute worst, with winners chosen by you, our noble campers. ALSO! We have a very special guest announcer: The Tipson Hotel's very own Carey Martin, actress Kim Rhodes! In this episode, we reveal the highhly anticipated results for 8 categories: Excellence in Disruptive Behavior, Daddy of The Year, Mother of The Year, Uncalled for Buffoonery, The Freak Behavior After Freak Behavior Lifetime Achievement Award, Excellence in Twisting The Plot, Take A Hike of The Year, and Camper Crush of the Year! Thank you for voting, and congratulations to tonight’s winners.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/CAMP today. 

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 25% off sitewide! Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

165 - The 2nd Annual Nunu Nana Awards!

In this mini episode, we are reading listener-submitted stories about camper who went searching for a hot military pen pal, but instead got a humbling reality check, a college partner project feud got so bad it ended up in the news, and a camper who turned heads all day, but not in the way she’d planned.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

SPONSORS

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMP at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Finding My HOT Army Pen Pal LOVER - Trail Mix #115

In our final episode of the year we’ve got some big surprises. Counselor Zachariah finds out his mom has a secret half-brother! Speaking of brotherly love, we also get into our love for the Jonas Brothers Christmas movie, judge some truly unwell neighbor holiday decor, and make an important announcement: we’re taking a short break from the podcast, but we’ll be back in the new year. Plus, we get into a James Bond jewel thief, and Quinta Brunson’s field trip fund. Obviously we have to wrap up the year with some ranting and question why skydivers are scattering ashes… in the sky? Also what the even heck is up with the GPS screaming directions at full volume while we are posing at a public rest stop?? And of course, we end on the important stuff: ribbon candy love, baking timelapse obsession, and a couple songs to carry you into the season.

Your civic duty as campers begins now: vote in the Nunu Nana Awards at CampCounselorsPodcast.com/vote! Winners announced in the 2nd annual Nunu Nana Award Ceremony on January 14, 2026.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Works Cited:

➜ Corlett, Eva. “Man Charged with Theft after Allegedly Swallowing Fabergé Pendant in Jewellery Store.” The Guardian, 2 Dec. 2025.

➜ Gonzalez, Alex. “Quinta Brunson Launches ‘Field Trip Fund’ For Philadelphia Schools.” Complex, 5 Dec. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Finding My HOT Army Pen Pal LOVER - Trail Mix #115

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