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Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper dodging drunken baby fever, a camper who went from a wet t-shirt contest to fugitive in 30 seconds, and a camper's disturbing midnight snack confession.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wet T-Shirt Contest Fugitive - Trail Mix #96

Pack your bags, campers. We are taking you to Buffalo, New York! In this episode we share all the wild details from Zachariah’s live show stop in Buffalo, including our pilgrimage to the restaurant where buffalo wings were invented. YES HONEY ZACH WENT DOWN TO THE BONE! Then we visited Niagara Falls. No biggie. Then we get into the bizarre news story about Chuck E. Cheese getting arrested, and the major impact a small vase of fresh flowers in a room can make.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 20% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Go to Zocdoc.com/CAMP to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

➜ Tackle your to-do list today and get 15% off your first task at taskrabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code CAMPCOUNSELORS

Works Cited:

➜ Ben Hooper. “Woman Flooded with Calls about Nonexistent Cat Due to a T-Shirt.” UPI, 18 July 2025.

➜ Erin Keller. “Kids Watch Chuck E. Cheese Mascot Arrested for Credit Card Fraud.” The Independent, 25 July 2025. 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

146 - Freaky Buffalo Babies

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who became the most famous girl on campus, for all the wrong reasons, a camper with a nightmare waiting outside the bathroom stall, and a camper who came face to face with an intruder.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMP at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE shipping on your first box.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

BIG Bathroom Stall Horror - Trail Mix #95

LET'S GET PICKLEDDD lol. This week, we are soaking up the brine and reflecting on our recent religious retreat to Picklesburgh! Yes. The pickle festival. We’re talking pickle beer, pickle fudge, and a chocolate-covered abomination that should have someone behind bars. Probably Jonathan lol. It’s tangy. It’s chaotic. It’s everything you never knew you needed to know. LOVE YA

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 20% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

Works Cited:

➜ Sheena Goodyear. “Chimps Are Sticking Grass and Sticks in Their Butts, Seemingly as a Fashion Trend | CBC Radio.” CBCnews, CBC/Radio Canada, 11 July 2025.

➜ Dan Hunt. “Experiment Finds Yoghurt Can Lower House Temperature.” BBC News, BBC, 12 July 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

145 - I Ate A Chocolate Covered Pickle... Foul.

IIn this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper torn between a life she loves and a future she didn’t ask for, a Chicken Cutlet Caper, and a tale of a camper causing the most unintentional grand opening sabotage in yoga history.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour HERE!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Stinky Yoga - Trail Mix #94

In this episode we are recapping our friends trip, the haunting HGTV show Decorating Cents, Jojo and so much more!

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/2daxxo2x 

As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.

➜ Save 20% on your FIRST order and get a FREE cat toy at PrettyLitter.com/camp (Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed Veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details.)

Works Cited:

➜ 

➜ 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

144 - Whoopsie! We Hate It!

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who got very passionate during the Passion of the Christ, a camper who got a lap dance on Halloween… and an even bigger surprise six months later, and a camper who had no choice but to flush part of her soul sister.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour HERE!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Major League Episode - Trail Mix #93

It's episode 143 campers!!!! i love you, mean it. We are talking about Katy Perry's publicly appointed flop era and her breakup with Orlando Bloom. We also recap our wild and wonderful trip to Asbury Park for our live comedy show. Yes, Jwoww herself showed up, and no, we’re still not over it. Plus: why electric stoves are the enemy, a quick detour into Demi Lovato discourse, and a chaotic pile of other things we just had to get off our chests. Camp is in session. Pack light, fart loud.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Score sizzling summer deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors

➜ Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/CAMP today.

Works Cited:

➜ Colby Johnson. “Christmas Tree Farm Finds Man’s Missing Ring after 15 Years.” WDBJ7, 26 June 2025.

➜ Mark Smith. “Marcus Students Win $50k for Creating Bionic Prosthetic Leg.” Cross Timbers Gazette, Southern Denton County / Flower Mound News, 24 May 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

143 - From Cheesy to Queasy

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper asking the question "am I the asshole? Or is my brother?" Another story about a camper whose coworker got lost in the woods (and things go south quickly), and a camper who learned that one man's trash is another woman's accessory.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour HERE!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP 

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lost in the Woods at Work - Trail Mix #92

In this episode we unpack a dramatic parking lot rice explosion, a woman who ingested her friend's house keys, and our eternal disdain for Jack Berger. Plus, Jonathan confesses his love for hardware stores, which is somehow... not a bit. It's an emotional rollercoaster of nonsense and neuroses. Just how we like it.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Tackle your to-do list today and get 15% off your first task at taskrabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code CAMPCOUNSELORS

➜ Go to Zocdoc.com/CAMP to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

Works Cited:

➜ Katy Pagan. “My Friend’s Extreme Measures to Stop Me Going Home from Pub Landed Her in A&E.” The Sun UK, 6 June 2025.

➜ Koh Ewe. “‘Best Place to Have Herpes’: New Zealand Advert Wins Top Prize.” BBC News, BBC, 24 June 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

142 - I Can Only Assume

In this episode, The Counselors learn about the LIES that big Hello Kitty have been spreading, a friendly orange lobster with big dreams, poodle skirts, and being trapped in the Tampa airport.

Works Cited:
➜ Charlie Sawyer. “The Internet Just Found out That Hello Kitty Isn’t a Cat, and They’re Not Coping Well.” SCREENSHOT Media, SCREENSHOT Media, 22 July 2024. 
➜ Amy Beth Hanson. “Meet Crush, the Rare Orange Lobster Diverted from Dinner Plate to Aquarium by Denver Broncos Fans.” AP News, AP News, 19 July 2024. 

Check out our website: campcounselorspodcast.com
Bonus Content: patreon.com/campcounselors
Submit your advice needed, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories at campcounselorspodcast.com

Camp Songs Spotify Playlist: https://spoti.fi/3qyK0ri
Camp Songs YouTube Playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLg9-jhcwB2oYDvLR8zGn8t8rS0q_umm8J

Camp Counselors TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@campcounselorspod
Camp Counselors Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/campcounselorspod/
Camp Counselors Twitter: https://twitter.com/_campcounselors 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

97 - Goodbye Kitty in a Poodle Skirt

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