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Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

This week we are talking all things edging! Our lawn, our garden, and then some!! Then we’re unwrapping the undercooked chicken amusement park filled with roller coaster grills and a Kia dealership caught taking parts from a customer’s car. OMG can you believe? Plus so much more, obvi.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Sponsors:

➜ Protect your teeth this summer with Remi and get 55% off your new night guard with code CAMP at shopremi.com/camp with Remi Club Subscribe & Save

➜ Sleep cooler this summer with Boll & Branch and get 15% off your first order plus free shipping with code CAMP at bollandbranch.com/camp

➜ Make your move at Apartments.com the place to find a place, and search more than one million rental listings to find your next home.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Have a real weekend and still show up sharp with ZBiotics Pre-Alcohol. Get 15% off at zbiotics.com/CAMP15 with code CAMP15

➜ Shop smarter with Thrive Market and get $30 off your first two orders at thrivemarket.com/camp

Works Cited:

➜ Warby, Nathan. "Influencer's 'Chicken Amusement Park' Shut Down Because All the Meat Was Undercooked." Dexerto, 4 Aug. 2026. Accessed 11 Aug. 2026.

➜ Brown, Brendan. "Caught on Camera: Lake Charles Woman Says Kia Dealership Used Her Car Parts to Fix Another Customer's Vehicle." KPLC, 4 Aug. 2026. Accessed 11 Aug. 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

193 - Are You Into Edging?

In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who tried to out-lie a liar and lost, a girl who stole an iPod and was immediately hit by karma, and a camper who got into one messy car and entered a full-day horror movie.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Sponsors:

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Make your move at Apartments.com the place to find a place, and search more than one million rental listings to find your next home.

➜ Download Cash App Today! Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

iPod Diva Ends Up on Teacher's Windshield - Trail Mix #143

BIG NEWS! Zachariah was cast in Keke Palmer's new Audible original series and he is breaking it all down! The British accent he had 10 minutes to figure out, recording in the LA studio, and getting to film WITH Keke Palmer for the micro drama THE DAY AFTER getting engaged. We also get into a Florida restaurant that accepts live pythons as payment for pizza, the eBay cyberstalking case that just settled for $56 million, binge-watching The Five-Star Weekend AND SO MUCH MORE!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Sponsors:

➜ Make your move at Apartments.com the place to find a place, and search more than one million rental listings to find your next home.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

Works Cited:

➜ Paul, Andrew. “Florida Man Will Trade Pizza for Pythons.” Popular Science, 15 July 2026.

➜ Streitfeld, David. “Couple Stalked by eBay Settle for $56 Million.” The New York Times, 28 July 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

192 - Secret Project Revealed

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who thought she was going to Texas Roadhouse and accidentally joined a crime caravan, a camper who fumbled the FIFA bag for a loser ex, and the tale of one camper who bought garden decor and accidentally sent her husband to the emergency room.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Sponsors:

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP 

➜ Shop now at Fabletics.com/camp to get 70% to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Limited time only.

➜ Make your move at Apartments.com the place to find a place, and search more than one million rental listings to find your next home.

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dave & Buster’s Prize NIGHTMARE - Trail Mix #142

Summer is almost over! In this episode we're covering our end-of-summer bucket lists, duh. Then we cover Goldie the lil firefighting goat, Jonathan caught strays in the Lowe's parking lot, and so much more. This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to zbiotics.com/CAMP15 and use CAMP15 at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics.

➜ Shopify: Stop waiting for permission to build something. Your next revenue stream starts free at shopify.com/camp

Works Cited:

➜ Murray, Joan. “‘Squeeze Ass’: Florida Woman Is the Talk of the Town with Her Racy License Plate She Got in the Mail.” CBS News, 28 July 2026.

➜ Brooks, James. “Colorado Wildfire Crews Get an Unexpected Helper: A Friendly Goat Named Goldie.” Associated Press, 29 July 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

191 - The Gay Summer Agenda Is Behind Schedule

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who thought she was going to Texas Roadhouse and accidentally joined a crime caravan, a camper who fumbled the FIFA bag for a loser ex, and the tale of one camper who bought garden decor and accidentally sent her husband to the emergency room.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

OOPSIE! Woman Destroys Husband's Butt - Trail Mix #141

This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp (and use code: camp) to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

Works Cited:

➜ 

➜ 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

190 - Feral at Fenway

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who stole a birthday sash and got cursed by a boho fairy, a camper trapped in her boyfriend’s house, and the tale of one camper who became the lead character in a Myspace urban legend.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Sponsors:

➜ Spice things up with ARYA! Get $10 off your first month at getARYA.com/camp

➜ Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/2daxxo2x

Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I Was A Myspace Urban Legend - Trail Mix #140

We’re talking Shark Week, Jaws, cushioned toilet seats, and Jonathan's SHOCKING discovery hidden inside a bowl of garlic butter mussels. We also get into Dolly Parton’s new Broadway musical, the Dolly-to-Buffy the Vampire Slayer pipeline (obvi), California returning Blues Beach to Indigenous tribes, overheated iPhones AND SO MUCH MORE!

This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp (and use code: camp) to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Go to REVOLVE.com/CAMP to shop and use code CAMP for 15% off your entire order. This offer ends soon!

➜ Protect your teeth with Remi at ShopRemi.com/camp and use code CAMP to get 55% off your new night guard with Remi Club Subscribe & Save!

➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get 25% off select sale items plus an extra $20 off your first 3 orders (for a limited time only!)

➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.

Works Cited:

➜ Culwell-Block, Logan. “Dolly Musical Will Open on Broadway in 2027.” Playbill, 7 July 2026.

➜ Wigglesworth, Alex. “California Returns Stretch of Coast to Indigenous Tribes. ‘This Is beyond Huge.’” Los Angeles Times, 2 July 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

189 - Cage Dancing for Shark Week

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a Jahova’s Witness caught with sticky contraband, an uninvited carpool passenger on the way to work, and the tale of a camper who survived leg day, but lost it all to Jersey Mike’s.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Sponsors:

➜ Stop settling for wines that don't quite hit the mark! Head to TryFirstleaf.com/camp to sign up and you'll get fifty percent off your first box PLUS free shipping for an entire year.

➜ Tackle your to-do list today and get $15% off your first task at taskrabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code camp

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jehovah Witnessed Me Smuggling Contraband - Trail Mix #139

What does a heat rash, a speeding ticket, and a banana shaped car all have in common? They are all in this episode, duh! We're also unpacking a teen Elvis tribute competition, Connecticut’s identity crisis, TikTok pearl parties (allegedly) scamming people, the Wheel of Fortune's shady social media manager, and so much more!

This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Works Cited:

➜ Spartz, Isabel. “‘The World Needs More Whimsy’: Giant Banana Car Draws Attention, and a Traffic Stop, near Billings.” KBZK, 21 June 2026.

➜ Bates, Sophie. “With Jumpsuits, Wigs and Dance Moves, These Young Boys and Teens Keep Elvis’ Legacy Alive.” AP News, Associated Press, 8 June 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

188 - These Oysters Are SCAMMING People

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