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Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

This week we open with a crime neither of us has committed but both have fully romanticized... writing bad checks! Counselor Zach has a lot of feelings about Graza olive oil. Then we are getting biblical, yall! We improv our way through the Garden of Eden and obviously reassign some roles. For real, Eve needs a complete character overhaul. Eve deserved better talent representation and we are here to fix that. This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Shoot Your Shot is HER’s open call for event organizers and community hosts! Applications are now open HERE!

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP 

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

➜ Go to Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.

➜ Go to zbiotics.com/CAMP15 to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use CAMP15 at checkout.

Works Cited:

➜ Grace, Asia. "Chinese Carmakers Rolling Out Cars With In-Vehicle Toilet." New York Post, 17 Apr. 2026.

➜ Budnick, Niki. "Causing a Catastrophe." The Weather Channel, n.d. Accessed 5 May 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

180 - Adam & Eve Improv Class

In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a Disneyland trip that took a downward spiral the moment grandma opened her purse, a road trip that turns into a full police kidnapping investigation, and a camper who climbed a tree on a second date and came down a different woman.

Sponsors:

➜ Stop settling for wines that don't quite hit the mark! Head to TryFirstleaf.com/camp to sign up and you'll get fifty percent off your first box PLUS free shipping for an entire year.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ This year, give Mom a gift that helps her reflect on her life with fresh perspective. Order StoryWorth RIGHT NOW and save up to $20 at StoryWorth.com/ campcounselors

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sippin Lean at Disneyland - Trail Mix #130

Heyy happy campers! This week we’re unpacking hosting anxiety, seed libraries, harsh movie reviewers, driver’s licenses being revoked, and so much more. Grab your bug juice and settle in... or else.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Works Cited:

➜ Good News Network. "Urine From Music Festival Toilets is Fertilizing a New Biodiverse Forest With Odor-Free Nutrients." Good News Network, 11 Apr. 2026.

➜ Schaller, Janek, and Megan Hall. "What Are Seed Libraries?" The Public's Radio, 31 Mar. 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

179 - Don't Touch Grass, Twirl Your Bush!

In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who got a call from a TV network, a reckless house party traumatized a mother, and a nightmare party that had a camper sweating her yabbos off.

Sponsors:

➜ For a limited time, get $25 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frame (Wirecutter’s #1 pick) at AuraFrames.com with promo code: CAMP

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Supernanny Wanted to Save My Family - Trail Mix #129

This week we're pulling back the curtain on the people who have lived closest to us... for better or for absolute worse. Counselor Jonathan shares his deeply messy tenure as a college RA, Counselor Zachariah spills the tea on the saga of his previous upstairs neighbors. Zachs got a review Din Tai Fung NYC, spiral into our obsession with terrible neighbor-themed shows, plus a very un-neighborly news article about a man who got arrested for sunbathing in his own backyard. Plus a paternity test that revealed TWO DIFFERENT fathers, Buffy being an ungrateful little brat, tick bite season, pear martinis, and a deep dive into who exactly is that baby cooing on Aaliyah's "Are You That Somebody."

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ For a limited time, get $20 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frame (Wirecutter’s #1 pick) at AuraFrames.com with promo code: CAMP

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP 

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp and use code: CAMP to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first order. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

Works Cited:

➜ "Court of Appeal Says It Cannot Rule on Which Identical Twin Fathered a Child." The Guardian, 30 Mar. 2026. Accessed 21 Apr. 2026.

➜ "Naked and Unafraid: Upstate Man Arrested for Nude Sunbathing in Backyard Raises Legal Questions." WYFF4, ca. Apr. 2026. Accessed 21 Apr. 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

178 - We Need to Talk About Our Neighbors

In this mini episode we are reading listener submitted stories about a high school faculty wedding that ended with a scandal nobody saw coming (except the photographer), a camper seeking shelter at a Domino's pizza, and the tale of a celebrity and a 2AM snapchat that changed everything.

Sponsors:

➜ For a limited time, get $25 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frame (Wirecutter’s #1 pick) at AuraFrames.com with promo code: CAMP

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Begging The Pizza Delivery Driver for a Ride - Trail Mix #128

It's the one-year anniversary of Jonathan's hair transplant and he's celebrating in a Juicy Couture velour tracksuit and a bedazzled hat, because why the frick not? In this episode, we're having flashbacks to the great Mario Movie 4DX feud. OOopsie, did not mean to bring that back up... but we buried the hatchet (for now hehe). The we're getting into birding! It's like Pokemon Go irl, who knew? And crows?! Did yall know they can hold a grudge against a specific human for up to 17 years! Sounds like us! Then we go deep on "We Built This City" by Starship, one of the most hated songs in rock history that also hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100, which sort of proves its own point. We also have a full Backseat Lovers / Kilby Girl deep dive, and the Everest Fraud Scheme thats actually nuts.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

➜ Jonathan's 12 Month Hair Transplant Journey

➜ Global Village Coffeehouse Video Essay

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Protect your teeth with Remi at ShopRemi.com/camp and use code CAMP to get 50% off your new night guard!

➜ Go to REVOLVE.com/CAMP to shop and use code CAMP for 15% off your entire order! This offer ends April 29, 2025 so don’t wait!

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp and use code: CAMP to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first order. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.

➜ Join Thrive Market with our link ThriveMarket.com/camp for $20 off your first three orders plus you’ll get a FREE $60 gift.

Works Cited:

➜ Prasain, Sangam. “Inside Nepal’s Fake Rescue Racket.” The Kathmandu Post, 27 Mar. 2026.

➜ Wethington, Paula. “‘Do You Think I’m Stupid?’ Judge Calls Out Woman for Denying She’s Driving During Zoom Hearing.” WCVB, 27 Mar. 2026.

➜ Khoirotun, R. “Did You Know That Crows Can Hold Grudges for Seventeen Years?” Medium, 14 June 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

177 - Scrappy & Sore in my Juicy Couture

This week on Trail Mix, our campers went through it and we are so grateful they survived to tell us about it. A friend who MacGyvered a lost ID back from the dead using gum and a coffee stirrer at midnight, an Airbnb host who had absolutely no concept of personal boundaries, and a mom who took a bachelorette trip completely off the rails in the middle of the woods.

Sponsors:

➜ Shop now at Fabletics.com/camp to get 70% to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Limited time only.

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bride's Mom is A WEREWOLF! - Trail Mix #127

We're creating our Mount Rushmores this week and it's getting controversial. Well... for us. We ranked our top four fast food items, Counselor Zachariah's favorite places to just walk around, and then Counselor Jonathan built an Anti Mount Rushmore of his most hated fictional characters of all time. Some of you will agree, and some of you will be on the wrong side of Shady Birch history. Either way, leave a comment I guess. Then we've got an 80-year-old cafe owner who spent a month baking a 6,000-pound carrot cake for his birthday. The Philadelphia airport set a Guinness World Record by lining up 1,291 cheesesteaks between terminals (kind of a nightmare imo). We're also ranting about a dog that would not stop barking in a hotel room, having an anxiety attack at TJ Maxx, why fireflies are the greatest bug alive, and Lisa Kudrow's The Comeback deserves more love. Its a fabulous episode, duh.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Works Cited:

➜ Hooper, Ben. "Cafe Owner Celebrates Birthday with 6,044-Pound Carrot Cake." UPI, 27 Mar. 2026.

➜ Kulkarni, Akshay. "For His 80th Birthday, Ted Martindale and His Friends in Quesnel, B.C., Baked a 2,500-Kilogram Carrot Cake." CBC News, 26 Mar. 2026.

➜ Vejpongsa, Tassanee, and Leah Willingham. "Longest Line at Philly Airport? Cheesesteaks, Not Security." Associated Press, 24 Mar. 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

176 - Controversial Mount Rushmore of Fast Food

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper in need of advice for supporting someone she loves through something she's never experienced herself, a camper who opened her backpack at 30,000 feet to the shock of a lifetime, and a camper who makes good money, but her workplace can only be described as a nightmare she cannot wake up from.

Sponsors:

➜ Go to zbiotics.com/CAMP15 to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use CAMP15 at checkout.

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Get 30% off all purchases when you subscribe and save at LiquidIV.com/campcounselors

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

179 - Don't Touch Grass, Twirl Your Bush!

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