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Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

This episode almost didn't go out because the termites ate most of it!! Rest assured, Sammich handled it... he is resting now in the infirmary cabin.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Score sizzling summer deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors

Works Cited:

➜ “Man Awarded $12,500 after Google Street View Camera Captured Him in His Yard in Argentina.” CBS News, CBS Interactive, 25 July 2025.

➜ Rebecca Morelle and Alison Francis. “World’s First IVF Rhino Pregnancy ‘Could Save Species.’” BBC News, BBC, 24 Jan. 2024. 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

147 - Termites Are Eating Our House

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper dodging drunken baby fever, a camper who went from a wet t-shirt contest to fugitive in 30 seconds, and a camper's disturbing midnight snack confession.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wet T-Shirt Contest Fugitive - Trail Mix #96

Pack your bags, campers. We are taking you to Buffalo, New York! In this episode we share all the wild details from Zachariah’s live show stop in Buffalo, including our pilgrimage to the restaurant where buffalo wings were invented. YES HONEY ZACH WENT DOWN TO THE BONE! Then we visited Niagara Falls. No biggie. Then we get into the bizarre news story about Chuck E. Cheese getting arrested, and the major impact a small vase of fresh flowers in a room can make.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 20% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Go to Zocdoc.com/CAMP to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

➜ Tackle your to-do list today and get 15% off your first task at taskrabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code CAMPCOUNSELORS

Works Cited:

➜ Ben Hooper. “Woman Flooded with Calls about Nonexistent Cat Due to a T-Shirt.” UPI, 18 July 2025.

➜ Erin Keller. “Kids Watch Chuck E. Cheese Mascot Arrested for Credit Card Fraud.” The Independent, 25 July 2025. 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

146 - Freaky Buffalo Babies

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who became the most famous girl on campus, for all the wrong reasons, a camper with a nightmare waiting outside the bathroom stall, and a camper who came face to face with an intruder.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMP at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE shipping on your first box.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

BIG Bathroom Stall Horror - Trail Mix #95

LET'S GET PICKLEDDD lol. This week, we are soaking up the brine and reflecting on our recent religious retreat to Picklesburgh! Yes. The pickle festival. We’re talking pickle beer, pickle fudge, and a chocolate-covered abomination that should have someone behind bars. Probably Jonathan lol. It’s tangy. It’s chaotic. It’s everything you never knew you needed to know. LOVE YA

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 20% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

Works Cited:

➜ Sheena Goodyear. “Chimps Are Sticking Grass and Sticks in Their Butts, Seemingly as a Fashion Trend | CBC Radio.” CBCnews, CBC/Radio Canada, 11 July 2025.

➜ Dan Hunt. “Experiment Finds Yoghurt Can Lower House Temperature.” BBC News, BBC, 12 July 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

145 - I Ate A Chocolate Covered Pickle... Foul.

IIn this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper torn between a life she loves and a future she didn’t ask for, a Chicken Cutlet Caper, and a tale of a camper causing the most unintentional grand opening sabotage in yoga history.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour HERE!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Stinky Yoga - Trail Mix #94

In this episode we are recapping our friends trip, the haunting HGTV show Decorating Cents, Jojo and so much more!

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/2daxxo2x 

As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.

➜ Save 20% on your FIRST order and get a FREE cat toy at PrettyLitter.com/camp (Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed Veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details.)

Works Cited:

➜ 

➜ 

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

144 - Whoopsie! We Hate It!

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who got very passionate during the Passion of the Christ, a camper who got a lap dance on Halloween… and an even bigger surprise six months later, and a camper who had no choice but to flush part of her soul sister.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour HERE!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Major League Episode - Trail Mix #93

It's episode 143 campers!!!! i love you, mean it. We are talking about Katy Perry's publicly appointed flop era and her breakup with Orlando Bloom. We also recap our wild and wonderful trip to Asbury Park for our live comedy show. Yes, Jwoww herself showed up, and no, we’re still not over it. Plus: why electric stoves are the enemy, a quick detour into Demi Lovato discourse, and a chaotic pile of other things we just had to get off our chests. Camp is in session. Pack light, fart loud.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Score sizzling summer deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors

➜ Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/CAMP today.

Works Cited:

➜ Colby Johnson. “Christmas Tree Farm Finds Man’s Missing Ring after 15 Years.” WDBJ7, 26 June 2025.

➜ Mark Smith. “Marcus Students Win $50k for Creating Bionic Prosthetic Leg.” Cross Timbers Gazette, Southern Denton County / Flower Mound News, 24 May 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

143 - From Cheesy to Queasy

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper asking the question "am I the asshole? Or is my brother?" Another story about a camper whose coworker got lost in the woods (and things go south quickly), and a camper who learned that one man's trash is another woman's accessory.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour HERE!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP 

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lost in the Woods at Work - Trail Mix #92

This week we’re belting it out and calling some people out. We kick things off with a passionate discussion about karaoke etiquette: if you’re sitting down while singing or not clapping for others, consider this a THREAT. Counselor Jonathan covers the bizarre tale of a woodpecker terrorizing a Massachusetts town. Counselor Zachariah tells us about a raccoon who got caught on camera with illegal... stuff... you'll have to listen i cant type it out lol. We wrap things up covered in glitter and white powder because we went to Charli XCX Brat Tour yall!!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Spring into comfort with MeUndies. Support the show by going to MeUndies.com/counselors and using my code counselors to get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping.

➜ Go to Zocdoc.com/CAMP to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

➜ Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/CAMP today. 

Sources:

➜ Ben Hooper. “‘Ferocious’ Woodpecker Damages 25 Vehicles in Massachusetts Town.” UPI, 25 Apr. 2025.

➜ Jon Haworth. Woman Arrested after Raccoon Named Chewy Found with a Pipe in Driver’s Seat during Police Stop, ABC News Network, 7 May 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist

YouTube Playlist

Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

Camp Counselors TikTok

Camp Counselors Instagram

Camp Counselors Facebook

Camp Counselors Twitter

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

134 - Karaoke Etiquette (Girl Why Are You Sitting? STAND UP!)

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