I Work for My Pet: An Employee Handbook for Anyone Whose Boss Has Four Legs, No Email, and Strong Feelings About Dinner

The author was hired for his current position on a Tuesday, and he did not apply for it, and he did not negotiate the salary, and he did not even read the job description. The interviewer was a dog named Bartholomew who weighed 70 pounds and occupied the center of the living room rug like it was a throne he had inherited through centuries of careful planning. He thumped his tail exactly 2 times, and that was the entire hiring process.

This hilarious employee handbook is for everyone who works for a pet, which is to say everyone who has ever gone outside at 6 in the morning in a rainstorm because a small creature with no concept of weather demanded it, rearranged a dinner schedule around a bowl that must be filled at 5 p.m. on the dot, or scooted over in bed so a creature with no sense of property could sleep in the middle. Between Bartholomew and a cat named Duchess, who conducted a hostile takeover of the entire kitchen within 48 hours, the author has spent years learning the rules of a household where he is simultaneously the executive, the janitor, the caterer, the chauffeur, and the person who opens the pickle jar. This book covers every part of the job, the interview process, the feeding schedule, the medication miracle, the walk reconsidered, the grooming economy, the furniture treaty, the sleep arrangement, the communication department, the vet visit protocol, the guest policy, the vacation problem, the emotional support contract, the home office arrangement, and the acceptance speech you will one day give.

If you have ever received 2 tail thumps and known your life no longer belonged entirely to you, or if you have ever loved a creature who runs the entire household, this book will make you laugh and nod and feel understood. You have never once received a paycheck, and you have never once considered quitting, and this book exists to explain that beautiful contradiction.

© 2026 BGB Learn (E-bog): 6610001329686

Udgivelsesdato

E-bog: 16. august 2026