A Jewish Divorce Mediator Shares What She Sees Behind Closed Doors

We explore one of the most sensitive and least discussed topics in Jewish life: money and marriage.

• Why do so many couples avoid talking about money? • What do fights about money really represent? • How can couples build financial trust and literacy before and during marriage? • What role should community education play in preparing young people for real-world financial responsibility?

To unpack all this, we sat down with Sarah Nissel, an attorney, law professor at Pepperdine, and Executive Director of the Jewish Divorce Assistance Center of Los Angeles.

After mediating over 300 divorces, Sarah has learned what truly makes (and breaks) relationships when it comes to money + how self-awareness, communication, and education can prevent heartbreak.

She shares candid lessons from the front lines: how to talk about money without shame, how to manage conflict constructively, and why the chuppah isn’t the finish line, it’s the starting line.

It’s a powerful, eye-opening conversation about emotional intelligence, financial transparency, and Torah values in Jewish relationships — not just how to avoid divorce, but how to build marriages that actually thrive.

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CHAPTERS:

00:00 Intro

01:53 Who Is Sarah Nissel?

02:27 Practicing Law in Los Angeles

04:10 A Decade of Experience in Family Law

04:24 What Lawyers See Behind Closed Doors

05:18 The Lack of Financial Education

05:56 When One First Goes to a Divorce Lawyer

07:23 Men vs. Women Divorce Misconceptions

07:42 Tips for a Healthier Marriage

11:45 Advice for Newlyweds

12:56 Improving Conflict Resolution Skills

18:28 How Frum Couples Manage Money

21:07 Why Wives Should Know the Finances

24:20 Twillory

25:33 The Donors Fund

27:52 Modeling Healthy Money Habits

29:34 Being Honest About Debt With Your Spouse

31:32 Understanding Your Appetite for Risk

34:33 How to Guide an Amicable Divorce

37:24 Prenups in the Orthodox Community

40:00 What Sarah Wants Her Children to Know

41:35 When Parents Stop Financial Support

44:14 Separate Bank Accounts

48:35 Setting Up Newlyweds for Financial Success

51:05 BitBean

51:53 Colel Chabad

52:43 It Is Never Too Late

55:58 Starting Financial Education Earlier

59:03 Moving Forward Toward Peace

1:02:39 Amazing Jewish Resources

1:05:52 How Sarah Helps People

1:06:23 You Do Not Need to Recreate the Wheel

1:08:01 Why Sarah Stays Away From AI

1:09:26 Sarah’s Nonprofit Work

1:09:52 Sarah’s Book Recommendations

1:12:36 The Advantages of the Jewish Community

1:14:04 Sarah’s Remarkable Yichus

1:19:26 Thanking Sarah for Joining Us

1:19:49 Outro

• Learn more about Sarah’s organization: https://www.jdacla.org/ • One of Sarah's favorite books, The Anxious Generation: https://amzn.to/4qnGOv

✬ Helpful Efforts Out in the World ✬

• Living Smarter Jewish brings free financial coaching to families: https://livingsmarterjewish.org/ • Kosher Debt Help – Honest, agenda-free help if you're in debt: https://www.kosherdebthelp.com/ • Kosher ADHD – Practical guidance for families living with ADHD: https://kosher-adhd.com/

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